Real World
Making Excuses

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Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Making Excuses

Frankie interviews that Dave has taken her "on a roller coaster from hell" since she's been there. Dave has taken her where? What has Dave done besides insist that she remain faithful? And act jealous when he suspects that he's not. The nerve! Frankie adds that sometimes Dave says he loves her, and sometimes he says he wants to break up with her. Because sometimes she is kind to him, and sometimes she makes out with other guys. Man.

The female roommates walk on the beach. Jamie tells Frankie that Dave means a lot to her. Frankie asks why she keeps doing stupid things to jeopardize their relationship. Well, she either doesn't really want to be in a relationship, or she wants to test Dave's love. Both of which really suck. Jamie interviews that she thinks that Frankie wants to be with Adam, but that she's keeping it "under wraps" so that she doesn't screw things up with Dave. Frankie says that she's scared of losing Dave, because she doesn't have a long time later to be with someone. Jamie interviews that the average person with Cystic Fibrosis lives to the age of twenty-seven, so she understands why Frankie wants to live a full life. Which is exactly why she shouldn't hop into a long-term relationship. Live it up while you're healthy.

In a confessional, Frankie sobs and says that she hates herself and she doesn't care about herself enough to take her medicine. She knows that her disease will kill her, and she hasn't told Dave any of it, but she's told her roommates all about it. While it's tempting to think that Frankie means that she hasn't told Dave about her disease at all, I find that hard to believe. I think she's saying that she hasn't told Dave how she feels about the prospect of dying, and how she wants to live her life as a result. Frankie says that Dave is the first person she's met that knows what she thinks before she says it. She also feels that she pushes away anything that's good for her. Man, does that girl need some serious therapy. I do feel for her condition, but we're all going to die, and we don't know when, and that's no excuse to be selfish and treat other people like crap. I guess most of us have the luxury of denial about our mortality, and Frankie doesn't. Wow, that was kind of a downer.

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called A Face to Kill For starring Miss Crystal Bernard and Mr. Doug "Matt on Melrose Place" Savant. Crystal Bernard was the daughter of a horse rancher, and she was in a car accident as a teen, which left her disfigured, and also apparently unable to say the word "Daddy," because she kept pronouncing it "Diddy" and then I kept picturing her father being played by P. Diddy and it cracked me up. Anyway, Crystal was married to Matt from Melrose Place, except he was straight, and he was actually pretty good in the role, which just makes it sadder that he was never given a plot line on Melrose Place. So Matt is just married to Crystal in the hopes that he will inherit the horse ranch, and then he dopes up the horses and frames Crystal and Diddy for it. So Crystal goes to jail and Matt tampers with Diddy's car so that he dies in an accident and Matt takes over the ranch, and then he tricks Crystal into signing divorce papers while she's in jail. So then Crystal meets a sassy black lady in prison who teaches her self-esteem and then Crystal gets beat up in a fight and the doctor somehow does some experimental surgery that gets rid of the scar. Cut to Crystal post-Extreme Makeover, and she's taken on a new identity, and she's going to stick it to evil Matt. So she makes a bunch of money through investments, which she learned in prison of course, and she tries to buy back Diddy's horse farm, but Matt isn't having it, so she resorts to trickery and chicanery and exposes Matt for the sleaze that he is and he goes to jail, and Crystal ends up looking hot and hooking back up with her high-school boyfriend, who wasn't all that cute, but they seemed happy together. Which is awesome.

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