Julie says that she got everyone "Valentine's Day crap" and she has it spread out all over her bed. Melissa says that Valentine's Day is the stupidest thing she ever heard of. Julie says she got everyone "little heart things." Melissa asks if she can see hers, and Julie holds it up. It says, "You crack me up," with a little picture of a chicken coming out of an egg. Danny's says, "Be my lover, baby, change is good." Julie thinks this is hilarious, but I find it a little offensive, especially since we know that she disapproves of Danny's "lifestyle." David's says, "Slow down." Julie also thinks this is hilarious. Melissa says that Julie is the biggest nerd she ever met, and that Valentine's Day makes her grouchy, so everyone can kiss her butt. I was much like Melissa up until I met my boyfriend six years ago, so I can't give her too much crap. Over this issue, that is. I will still continue to give her crap over everything else.
The doorbell rings, and the postman hands Melissa a bunch of packages. They are all for Jamie, and they are his Valentine's Day gifts for his housemates. Jamie opens them (and we see in a quick shot that they are from BN.com, which must meet the criteria of official Real World affiliate). Julie just wants the bubble wrap. Jamie hands out a bunch of wrapped books. The only one we get to see is Danny's gift, a copy of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. In an interview, Jamie says he bought them book that he thought they would benefit from. Could he be any more condescending? Because he's so much smarter than everyone else, he needs to show them the way to improve themselves. And he started with Ayn Rand. Whatever. And Jamie? Shut up. You only got ten seconds of screen time and you managed to annoy me. Melissa tells Danny that he'll love the book. Whatever.
Danny is in the kitchen alone, and Melissa gets all up in his business, asking him what he got. Danny got two letters from Paul, and says that Paul writes the best letters. Melissa notices that Paul filled the envelopes with shells (probably because of the time they spent on the beach? Remember that picture?). Melissa says, "I hate you. I hope you rot in hell."