Real World

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Kim: D | 250 USERS: C+
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Melissa is My Unfunny Valentine

Suddenly, it's daytime and Julie is at the airport, picking up her brother, Alan. He looks exactly like her, but his face is a little chubbier and he has darker, short hair. But they have the same face. In an interview, Julie says that Alan is an important person in her life, because they have the "same scene." Julie tells Alan about a vintage guitar shop she found. In a voice-over, Julie says that her brother is a good person to talk to, and she's glad he came to visit.

Back at Belfort, Julie unwraps some stuff that Alan brought with him. Alan tells her they are Valentine's Day presents that he brought for all of the roommates. Melissa stands there and watches. Alan figured that if no other boys are going to buy Julie Valentine's Day gifts, he will. Thus begins the slightly creepy aspect of their relationship. During this speech, Matt walks into the room with a video camera in his hand, but makes a face like "Whoops!" and then walks back out with no explanation. In an interview, Matt says that he has nothing planned for Valentine's Day and that it's just another day for him, like we care. In a confessional, Julie says you don't have to have a lover on Valentine's Day, you just have to have love. And presents from your brother, apparently. Julie tells Melissa that Alan is the best. In an interview, Melissa says that Julie and her brother have an excellent relationship and "it seems that they didn't have television as children, the way they get along so well." Oh, okay. Heh. Sometimes Melissa cracks a funny. Julie says that Alan is sweet and Melissa says it's sickening. It is.

Some old guys are playing blues on the street. In an interview, Julie says that Alan had never been to "a big city like New Orleans," where "they have the French Quarter" and she thinks he's open to it. Did you know that population-wise, Milwaukee (Julie's hometown) is bigger than New Orleans? Yeah, I don't think Julie does either. I know that Julie is probably from some suburb or rural area outside Milwaukee, and that New Orleans is a crazy city, but come on. Jeffrey Dahmer lived in Milwaukee, so don't tell me they don't have crazy-ass stuff there too. Speaking of crazy-ass stuff, Julie and Alan decide to bust out their guitars right there in the French Quarter (I guess) and play some tunes. Some homeless guy starts squirming around in agony, but they take that to mean that he's having a good time. People start tossing money in their guitar cases, hoping that they will take the hint and get out, or possibly go pay someone to tune their guitars because they are wicked out of tune. Julie announces that they got three dollars. If they were true Mormons, they would give the money to that sad homeless man so that he could go buy a bottle of Mad Dog or something. He deserves it after listening to them. Hell, I deserve it after listening to them.

Real World

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