Judd picks up Christopher at the airport and explains the fucking plan once a-fucking-gain. Judd tells Christopher that they're going to stuff him in a closet to hide him from Pam until the time is right. Rachel fucks up the plan right away by not taking Pam to a coffee shop, like she's supposed to, but to their neighbors' house. Pam hates their neighbors and is in pure hell while Rachel is making her sit there waiting for a page. Judd's back at the house with Christopher waiting for Cory and Mohammed. Judd stuffs Christopher in a closet. Rachel gets a page, but Dumb-Ass Neighbor is on the phone. Pam wants to go, but Rachel wants to wait around to call Judd back so that he doesn't bitch her out for the next year. Pam says she's just going to go without Rachel. Rachel tells her that she's coming with, and they head over to the house without calling first. God, I'm so fucking bored. Are you bored? Let's pretend there's tension. Judd is crazy pissed because The Plan is falling apart. Nobody's home and Pam's on her way over.
Judd and Christopher hear Rachel and Pam walk into the house, so Christopher hauls ass back to the closet in Judd's bedroom. Judd is bitching out Rachel for not taking Pam for coffee. He says the word "coffee" eighteen times. Pam's making some stir-fry. An hour passes. Mo and Cory finally wander home. Man, poor Christopher. He's missing out on some freaky-freaky time now. Pam eats as Mo explains his plans for how his dreadlocks are going to grow out. The dramatic tension has me in shooting stomach pains. Do you know what it's like to listen to Mo explain for thirty seconds how his hair will grow? Just stare at a plant. It's the same level of satisfaction. Cory warbles about the shirt she's wearing, and how it came with another shirt on top of it, but when she wears the shirt that's supposed to go on top if it then it really doesn't go with anything so you need to come over to my house and shoot me in the head right now. Shoot me in the head because I can't believe I'm recapping Mohammed's hair plans and Cory's fashion woes. Pam eats. Judd is bitching out Pedro on some phone somewhere. Not prepared himself, Judd just now gets around to writing out the cards for the "skit." Actually, I'm sure he did this hours ago and they've been waiting under his bed, but this is how they edited it. Judd puts on a tux. Lord, help us all. Pedro finally shows up, so Judd bolts over to Pam to start his skit. Poor Cory's all, "You couldn't wait until I was done with my pizza?"













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