Back at home, MamaRachel shows Pedro some photos of Rachel. He laughs at pictures of Rachel in hats, diapers, and Brownie uniforms. Trust me, she was a better dressed baby. Rachel tells us that she wasn't spending enough time with Pedro before and that she hadn't realized how much they had in common. Rachel tells us that she feels like Pedro's sister: "I mean, I really, really do." Thanks for the clarification.
Boredom. Taking over. Killing me. Rachel and Pedro go hiking through the mountains with a group. Rachel says that Pedro complained a lot while they were hiking. Pedro and Rachel fight over some cute boy as they walk. Pedro says that they stopped seeing each other as "opposing people" on the trip. He says this trip will bring them closer together. Shot of Pedro holding hands with Rachel's family during church services. They say goodbye at the airport and we get a thirty-second Southwest Airlines commercial before we break for the other commercials.
Back in San Francisco, Rachel fingers her belly button. She brags that her mother didn't find out. She says that it'll be over quickly once she does. Great story. Moving on.
Judd, Cory, and Pedro are in a car discussing Pam's birthday. Judd is going to surprise Pam with Christopher, even though he knows Pam doesn't want a surprise because she's got two tests on Friday. Look at him making tension for them. Pretty sneaky, Judd. Cory warbles on about how clever Judd's idea is. It's going to be explained over and over in this episode, but I'll just do it once for you here: they're doing a mock This is Your Life, and Christopher will be the final guest, but it'll look like it's supposed to be Puck. Rachel will keep Pam entertained outside the house as they sneak Christopher in. Got it? Great.
Judd tests Rachel on "The Plan," which she blahs back to him from behind her magazine. She fucks it up and Judd starts harping on her so she looks to the kitchen for help. Rachel explains it all again for us. Thanks.
Judd picks up Christopher at the airport and explains the fucking plan once a-fucking-gain. Judd tells Christopher that they're going to stuff him in a closet to hide him from Pam until the time is right. Rachel fucks up the plan right away by not taking Pam to a coffee shop, like she's supposed to, but to their neighbors' house. Pam hates their neighbors and is in pure hell while Rachel is making her sit there waiting for a page. Judd's back at the house with Christopher waiting for Cory and Mohammed. Judd stuffs Christopher in a closet. Rachel gets a page, but Dumb-Ass Neighbor is on the phone. Pam wants to go, but Rachel wants to wait around to call Judd back so that he doesn't bitch her out for the next year. Pam says she's just going to go without Rachel. Rachel tells her that she's coming with, and they head over to the house without calling first. God, I'm so fucking bored. Are you bored? Let's pretend there's tension. Judd is crazy pissed because The Plan is falling apart. Nobody's home and Pam's on her way over.