Real World
Mi Familia

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Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
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Judd Likes Pam. Pass It On.

Judd and Christopher hear Rachel and Pam walk into the house, so Christopher hauls ass back to the closet in Judd's bedroom. Judd is bitching out Rachel for not taking Pam for coffee. He says the word "coffee" eighteen times. Pam's making some stir-fry. An hour passes. Mo and Cory finally wander home. Man, poor Christopher. He's missing out on some freaky-freaky time now. Pam eats as Mo explains his plans for how his dreadlocks are going to grow out. The dramatic tension has me in shooting stomach pains. Do you know what it's like to listen to Mo explain for thirty seconds how his hair will grow? Just stare at a plant. It's the same level of satisfaction. Cory warbles about the shirt she's wearing, and how it came with another shirt on top of it, but when she wears the shirt that's supposed to go on top if it then it really doesn't go with anything so you need to come over to my house and shoot me in the head right now. Shoot me in the head because I can't believe I'm recapping Mohammed's hair plans and Cory's fashion woes. Pam eats. Judd is bitching out Pedro on some phone somewhere. Not prepared himself, Judd just now gets around to writing out the cards for the "skit." Actually, I'm sure he did this hours ago and they've been waiting under his bed, but this is how they edited it. Judd puts on a tux. Lord, help us all. Pedro finally shows up, so Judd bolts over to Pam to start his skit. Poor Cory's all, "You couldn't wait until I was done with my pizza?"

Judd flirts with Pam and does his schtick as the other roommates wait downstairs. They watch a video monitor and wait their turn. Each one speaks over the intercom and then everyone does fake happiness as they run up the stairs and hug Pam. This would be way more effective if they were bringing presents up the stairs with them. But no, too selfish, these kids. I wish Pam was like, "Cory? Who's that? Mohammed? I've never heard of these two." Actually, Pam doesn't recognize Pedro. Then Rachel tells Pam that when she first met her, she thought Pam was a snob. Cory sits with her legs spread, and her shorts aren't covering enough flesh. The last voice is Christopher's, of course, and not Puck's. Pam doesn't wait for him to come up, and runs down the stairs to hug him, ruining the moment Judd had been waiting for all this time. So sad, Judd tries to stop her, but Pam doesn't listen, so Judd starts jumping down the stairs screaming after her. All in his tux with his heart in shreds. We see Judd pout as he watches Pam hold her boyfriend affectionately. Judd was hoping she'd hug him and thank him for such a brilliant skit. It doesn't happen, and Pam kisses Christopher instead.

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