Clearly the editors are as bored as I am. Old-timey music plays, and then we see a title card similar to what you would see in a silent movie, complete with faux film defects. It reads "Irulan's birthday dinner." Alton, holding a bunch of flowers, walks into the restaurant with Mikey. Title card: "Gee...I hope Irulan likes these flowers." You know, I was going to recap this whole thing, but it's just dumb. Basically, Alton gives Irulan the flowers. In an interview, Arissa says that Alton and Irulan are falling for each other. That seems like about the fourth time this season we've seen that interview. Arissa pulls Alton aside and tells him that he "did good" with the flowers. Then they discuss that it was good and that girls like getting flowers. Oh, my God. Kill me now.
The roommates end up at Rain, drinking and dancing. Irulan has many glasses of champagne and starts hanging all over Alton. In an interview, Alton says that Irulan is "the perfect girl" but she has a boyfriend, so he's reminded that he's still single and free to do what he wants, any old time. Alton points out Carrie, a schoolteacher he likes, but Irulan isn't having it. In an interview, Alton say that he met Carrie a few weeks ago and thought she was cute, so he "definitely wanted to...get to know her." That huge pause was quite telling. Irulan gives Alton permission to go talk to Carrie. Well, how generous of her. In an interview, Alton says that Irulan is upset about Carrie, and that there's nothing he can do about it. Except tell Irulan to fuck right off!
Mikey takes Irulan back to the suite. Irulan sits down on the elevator floor, and looks like she's about to puke. Meanwhile, Alton is hitting on Carrie. At least, I think that's what he's doing. He says, "I like the fact that you're like, 'Can we go talk somewhere else?' It's so cool that you're, like, like that." He admires that she suggested they move to a booth and talk? Alton really is simple. Carrie is looking at him like she's completely bored. I feel you, Carrie. Meanwhile, Mikey carries Irulan into the suite. Alton tells Carrie that he likes that she's intelligent and a schoolteacher, and isn't just "in love with all the clubs." Aren't they in a club right now? What is he even talking about? Mikey helps Irulan to the bathroom, where she pukes. Alton and Carrie are now holding hands and smiling at each other. Mikey helps Irulan into bed. Alton and Carrie arrive back at the suite. Alton tells Carrie that he just wants to peek in and make sure his roommate is okay. While Carrie talks to Mikey, Alton goes into Irulan's room, sits on her bed, and hangs out with her. I'm guessing some time passed, because Carrie comes to the bedroom doorway and tells Alton she's leaving. Alton tells her she can't. In an interview, Alton says he'd be a fool not to hook up with other women. Alton and Carrie lounge in the hallway. Alton tells Carrie that he wants to sleep with her. Carrie says she hasn't had sex in a year. Alton says it's been four and a half months, which is a total lie, as mentioned earlier in this recap. I think Carrie puts her hands down Alton's pants, and then she's all, "Oh my God!" Alton tells her he wants to "give [her] some sweet [bleep] tonight." I can't believe any woman would go for that line, even though I'm not exactly sure what the bleeped-out word was. I have some guesses, and they all skeeve me out. ["Corn? Corn, right?" -- Wing Chun] Alton and Carrie head for Alton's bed and get under the blankets. Irulan is passed out in her own bed.