Previously on The Real World: Julie loooooved her brother. Julie teased her dad. Julie's dad was overprotective.
Julie is on the phone with her mom, discussing her family's upcoming visit to New Orleans. Her mom suggests that she talk to her brother, Alan. He gets on the phone, and Julie tells him that she can't have her family there for a whole week because it's too long. Then she channels Melissa, saying that she's going to "freak out." Just the way she said it sounded exactly like Melissa. Alan stutters ineffectually as Julie continues by saying that she can't be on the phone with her dad for ten minutes without wanting to kill him. In an interview, Julie says she's apprehensive about being around her family because they cause her to feel angry. Julie tells Alan she does want to see them all. What does she expect Alan to do? Isn't he, like, eighteen? And he's supposed to come up with some reason why the whole family should change their travel plans that doesn't involve saying, "Julie doesn't really want us there that long"?
Julie lies on her bed and starts writing in her journal. She voice-overs that her parents have this life they've picked out for her and they don't understand why she wants to do other things. Of course, the camera totally reads her journal, which seems really shitty and like an invasion of privacy, but I guess if the camera was close enough to read the writing, she knew it was there and didn't care. Anyway, I did a freeze-frame and got as much of the journal as I could for y'all. It says (and the whole thing is [sic], "I have for so long been controled. Wait -- forever someone is always in control -- dictating how I act how I feel how I think. I can't believe I came here and thought MTV was going to mak my life..." and then her hand is covering the rest. A new Julie voice-over says, "With my dad and I [sic], he's upset that I'm not fulfilling his image of an ideal daughter," which makes them both angry. She has now started scrawling on a new page, and her writing gets bigger and messier. The part I can read says, "My dad doesn't control me, my faith doesn't. I am in total control of myself. I am responsible for myself and have absolute control over everything in this life that I call..." and then the camera pulls back. What a tease that cameraperson is! Ooh, now she's on a new page, and the writing is even bigger and messier! I am such a voyeur. It says, "Integrity to myself. My friends will [something] and I will not be harrassed by them in any way. I am so FREE. I am liberated here." Julie finishes her interview by saying that she "can't be good enough, no matter what [she does]." I'm glad the scene ended here. If it had continued, she would have probably started writing one word per page with like a black crayon, the way she was going.