Real World
My Unfunny Valentine

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
My Unfunny Valentine

The cameraman congratulates himself for the cool shot he got of a framed photo of younger Stephen in the foreground, and modern day Stephen in the background. Then the cameraman takes it a step too far, when he shoots the cover of Love Among the Ruins, by Walker Percy, as a metaphor for...well, you get it. I don't want to get all B/M on you. In an interview, Stephen says, "Love and Natasha is the one situation in life where I get caught up and my guard is completely down. She does things for me that no one in the house can do for me." I'm not EVEN going to go there. You all know what I'm talking about. Stephen is on the phone with Natasha (I almost typed Nathan there. Oops.). He tells her things are stressful, and she says he sounds down. He says that things are all right, and his roommates are all right, and mommy's all right, and daddy's all right -- they just seem a little weird. Surrender. Surrennnder! But don't give yourself away. Sorry, sometimes I get bored and just start typing Cheap Trick lyrics. I'll try to control myself. Anyway, back to the boring conversation. Natasha asks Stephen if he's met anyone he really likes (i.e. does he have a girlfriend?), and Stephen says not really. In an interview, Stephen says that he wouldn't say he's over Natasha, but it's really difficult to get over someone you've been with for so long and had so much crap with. Aw, what a romantic. Stephen gets all passive-aggressive on the phone, saying, that he "used to talk to [Natasha]," but she stopped calling him. He pauses and waits for the, "I still love you, baby!" but is greeted by silence. He tries again with, "I guess it was my fault." Pause again while he waits for, "Not at all! I still love you, baby." Nothing. He gets the hint and says good-bye, and then sits with his head in his hands. Just tell her you still love her! Or something. Because this is really boring.

Irene is opening a package from her grandmother while Rebecca watches. It contains a stuffed gorilla, and Irene reads the tag out loud. "I sing the original 'Wild Thing.' Try me!" Irene tries it, and she and Rebecca laugh at this gorilla, which beat out that fucking singing fish by three years. Rebecca answers the phone, and is told that some florist has flowers for Janet. Janet comes into the living room, and Rebecca informs her of the imminent flower delivery. Janet's all, "Who are they from?" Rebecca tells her they should be there soon. Janet says, "I got a secret boyfriend." I happen to know (from reading the book about the season) that this is what Janet considers her most cringe-inducing moment on the show. Not fainting on Mt. Everest. Not her fish-market stalker boyfriend. That one line. I think it's because she didn't have any makeup on when she said it.

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Real World




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