The kids work on setting up their Mystic Tan franchise. Tyler is mean to Svet. Svet starts angling to be the manager of the crap salon. But...Zach also wants to be manager! Lordy, how will this mounting conflict resolve itself? Meanwhile, Tyler joins a swim team so that he can hang out with other people aside from his roommates; he reveals that he has daddy issues. Who doesn't? The kids do a Sidekick commercial, after doing their Ford commercial for the week. Jose and Tyler hang out. Jose reveals to us that the roommates haven't gotten to know Tyler as they should. Tyler thinks that he deserves his cockiness; he decides to wants to get into triathlons. So he does one...minus the biking part. (In other words, he does a biathlon.) The kids cook for their boss, and then argue about who will be manager. It's everyone against Svet, basically. Zach wins. Jose will be assistant manager. Svet cries. She sulks and then snottily shirks all of her job duties.
Message to MTV.com: I understand that there are no scripts for reality shows, and thus, most episodes don't have titles from initial conception, printed on everything from video reels to computer files to to press notes. However, if you're going to decide to create titles and post them on your website, do it. You have made that decision -- to write "recaps" for the episodes and post the titles on your hideous browser-freezing website -- and so it is now a duty that must be performed by someone. We can agree about that, right? The problem is that whomever you've assigned to do it sucks. The titles are always posted late -- and sometimes, as it happened last season, not at all. And it's not like you have big creative MTV.com meetings to pitch episode titles -- conference calls with producers from the show. Because these titles clearly have been given minimal thought. I give my fake episode titles more thought, and they're awful. Here's my guess as to the assigning of the episode titles: twenty-three-year-old Production Assistant Nicole drives her 1999 Hyundai Sonata from her apartment in North Hollywood over the hill to the MTV.com offices (listening to Star 98.7 the whole way, which she feels is way better now that they've gotten rid of that horrible Bonaduce guy). She makes her way up to the offices and unlocks the big double wooden doors, collecting the trades from where they've been stuck through the mail slot. She spends a few minutes going around opening the offices, making coffee in the kitchen, and putting out the Entenmann's coffee cake with paper plates and plastic knives. Then she fires up her computer and fucks around with her MySpace page for a while. As the first few employees arrive, she realizes that she has yet to make up a title for the episode and quickly posts one, having "forgotten" to watch the episode last night but she's sure no one will know because frankly, ever since they haphazardly assigned her this job, no one has so much as mentioned it again. It's kind of spooky, actually. She could probably not put up a title at all one week, or put up something horribly inappropriate, like "Boobies" or "Tyler Likes Penis" (her roommate Brian thought up that one, and it still makes her giggle). Then she gets bored and pours herself some coffee and eats half the Entenmann's which launches her into a shame spiral which will only be momentarily broken when the ugly-cute editor comes by her cubicle and flirts with her for a while.