Real World
Nose Candy

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Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Nose Candy

Back at the house, Simon says that Chris is "so caveman." Leah says that it's difficult for her even to look at Chris. Mallory interviews that she's starting to feel bad for Chris because they all gang up on him. Christina says that she doesn't know if she's feeding off her roommates, but sometimes just the sound of Chris's voice annoys her. Who hasn't felt that way about a roommate at times, even one you like? Leah says that Chris is "so uneducated" that he won't understand anything. Come on. It's not like he dropped out of school in the fifth grade, right? Maybe he didn't go to college, but it's not like Leah has her doctorate in metaphysics. In conclusion, shut up, Leah.

The roommates take the train somewhere. This is definitely the same train ride they showed last week when Mallory and Simon discussed Ace. Christina tells Simon and Mallory that she's not going to say anything to Chris tonight because she's "not centered." Simon points out that Chris is standing nearby, and Christina says she doesn't care. In a confessional, Chris mumbles something about how he hears them talking about him. Christina says that she's about to pop something and she never does that. I don't know. I guess a rumble is brewing.

So now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie on (what else?) the Lifetime Movie Network called The Edge of Innocence starring Kellie "Becca Thatcher" Martin and James "Cyclops" Marsden. First of all, I loved this movie because every time I saw it on my list of recorded shows on my Tivo (or Ti-faux, because it's not actually a Tivo), I started singing, "I've been living on the edge of a broken heart! I don't wanna cry!" which is a song from the '80s by some chick rock band that I had all but forgotten. But anyway. In this movie, Becca was totally crazy and manic-depressive, except not really depressive but just manic, and really only manic in that she talked really fast and didn't wait for people to answer one question before she asked another. So she ran away from home and went to a carnival and rode the roller coaster because do you get it that the ups and downs of the roller coaster were like the ups and downs of her moods? So then she went on the Ferris Wheel and started hallucinating and climbed out of the car and then almost fell, so her mom sent her to the loony bin. And she met an anorexic girl named Ally, like this must be the general loony bin, because don't anorexics usually get put in a special eating disorder clinic? Or have my Lifetime movies led me astray? And there were other crazy kids there including Jamie Kennedy, who was gay, and Joshua Jackson, who had an imaginary friend, which was hilarious. But I don't think it was supposed to be. So Becca meets Cyclops, who isn't really crazy, but just bad and went to the loony bin to avoid juvie. So they fall in love and do it and then the authorities say that they can't be together until they leave the loony bin, and then they are both supposed to be released on the same day, like, what are the chances, and Cyclops gets into a fight with his hypocritical dad and doesn't get to leave. So then Cyclops pulls a knife and a bunch of the kids bust out together but two of them accidentally shoot a security guard so they go back and then Ally Anorexic gets caught when they are all running away, so she goes back. So Becca and Cyclops decide to go to Mexico, but Becca is now, like, ten days off her meds so she starts to get all crazy again, like, this movie wasn't that good when it was called Mad Love, so why make it again? So then I honestly don't remember how it ended but I think Becca threatened to kill herself again on the Ferris Wheel and Cyclops saved her and realized how sick she was, so he made her go back to the loony bin and promised to wait. Or possibly one of them died. I think I fell asleep after Josh Jackson wasn't on anymore. But the first hour was awesome. And another awesome thing you should watch is Made on MTV, because a new season just started and it is a great show.

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