Real World
On A Roll…A Log Roll

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Payback's A Bitch, And So Is...Well, No One

Out in front of the firehouse, Kameelah asks Jason if she should be the one to bring up Montana's attempts to get Syrus fired, or if she should just rise above and leave well enough alone. Jason, of course, notes, "Me, personally, I don't give a crap." Ew. Of course you don't. Cut to inside the house, where we are to believe that Montana is simultaneously on the phone. She's talking to the aforementioned grandmother (or so we gather from her repeated use of the words, "I've never been fired from a job before, Grandma." The Squiggly Hip Font Of Character Introduction must be completely out of white ink after last week's Introductionpalooza), who reassures Montana, "Everybody has pitfalls in their life. It's how you work it out that makes you become stronger or weaker." Awwww. Sounds like it was Chinese buffet day over at Shady Pines, and Grandma Red is just getting around to the plastic-wrapped fortune cookies dessert. I'm beyond disappointment that we won't be around to hear the remainder of the conversation, in which Grandma also reassures Montana, "You will soon be going on a long trip" and "Your luck will soon improve," and, of course, that bastion of sage elder generational advice, "1, 2, 10, 12, 25, 26." Back outside, Jason once again plays a kind of contrived good guy so transparent that casual passersby believe Kameelah is standing in front of the firehouse having this conversation with herself, garbling, "I didn't stick my nose in about Syrus, and I'm not gonna stick my nose in about this." What. Ever. Somebody get that boy a tweezers and a ladder in case he needs some help extracting all those splinters from his ass should he ever decide to get the hell off the fence.

Smoking. Reading. Watching a TV with a blurred out picture, thus eliciting the through-the-coma-haze comment from this barely-conscious recapper, "Sure seems like a strange time to be surfing for scrambled porn. Oh, wait." Lurking in a corner for the first time in weeks, The Cat Of Vulnerability must have heard the Smashing Pumpkins on the soundtrack and come out to see who was feeling angsty. Cats have that extra sense, supposedly. In a turning-of-the-tide confessional, Montana is back on the phone, letting us know in voice-over, "Hopefully, I'll be able to volunteer somewhere else, do something good. Redeem myself a little bit." Cue montage of her tossing out some personal information, culminating with the explanation, "There was alcohol being served...samples of it. And I just didn't realize the implications of doing that." Meanwhile, the heads of volunteering at SADD, AA, and Common Sense International make some hasty, stonewalling excuse about not needing any further help in the immediate, oh, say, ever, and terminate the call in a hurry.

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Real World

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