Real World
On A Roll…A Log Roll

Episode Report Card
Djb: D+ | Grade It Now!
Payback's A Bitch, And So Is...Well, No One

Back in the shallow end of the pool at the Insurance Liability Recreation Emporium, a few more bizarrely fetishized shots of kids on logs and Sean doing a razor-kick into the pool (from behind and I atoning for sins I don't even remember committing?), Sean asks for a volunteer, and a girl -- who the careful observer will remember as Jessica-the-gay-hating-metaphor in "This Is So Gay" -- raises her hand and wants to go first. Syrus (damn, that is one round noggin right there) jumps in on a voice-over to let us know, "I grew up playing basketball, homey grew up log rolling." Cut to a public park with about a thousand kids in tow behind Syrus, followed by a montage of kids throwing basketballs and Syrus yelling at them. Another voice-over tells us that now that he's gotten "off [his] ass," the kids seem to be enjoying themselves. He wishes he could have challenged himself with something besides basketball for once, but at least this is a sport that's played by, like, actual people. Log rolling. Phffft.

Inside the "T," time takes a holiday once more as Syrus notes to Sean and Jason, "That's gonna be weird without her there, now." Sean has masterminded (well, "feebleminded") a plan by which he would pretend that he was the only one who wants Montana to stay in the house. Cut to inside the firehouse, where Sean and Syrus sit in the living room with Montana, Syrus kicking things off by asking no one in particular, "Did you tell Montana about the meeting?" Montana leans against the couch and asks, all resigned, just what that means. Syrus expositions, "Like what happened to me earlier? That came up again." Sean leans in for the kill, sitting up in his chair and looking directly at her: "They don't think you should live here." Yup. I still hate him, but that's his best line of the whole season. Syrus cracks up and actually hugs Montana. She can't react or storm off in anger, what with her no leg to stand on, and she smiles again. In a confessional, she calls the whole scene "a good one." Yeah, sister. From that side of the glass, maybe.

Meanwhile, Andrea rings back and tells Montana that she's going to get started on Monday. Then she's walking there in the rain, telling us, "It was kind of nice to have some time off. But you can only have so much." And then she's working like crazy, carrying boxes and generally being helpful. Cut to her eating breakfast with Sean, who tells Montana that his log rolling program is "today." Well, I hope that works out well for him. Oh, and huh? Back in Andrea's office, she tells Montana that she thinks things are working out really well, adding, "I'm excited to have you here." Because if there's one thing we know in this crazy world, it's that the homeless don't need a lick of help in tracking down liquor when the need for it should at some point strike.

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Real World




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