Previously on The Real World: Nicole complained about their job. Kevin wondered why Nicole always has to hold a grudge about every little issue. Nicole yelled at Kevin that she would put her fingers wherever she wanted. Ew, not like that. Pervert. Mike wondered why he was changing himself because of his crabby roommates, and decided that it was time for the real Mike to be unleashed. The real Mike apparently likes to belly crawl around on the floor and throw pillows into the air.
Nicole looks at some cards she got from Quarrel's room, and decides that she will read one every day. In an interview, Nicole tells us that they are called "Wisdom Cards," and are full of positive affirmations. I've got some Wisdom for Nicole -- let it go. Just all of it. The makeup, the unreasonable grudges, the attitude -- let it go. This message has been brought to you by the Association of Recapping Wisdom. Nicole reads one card aloud that she finds particularly striking: "If I wait until I'm perfect to love myself, I'll wait my whole life. I'm already perfect right here and right now." Nicole tells Quarrel that the cards contain hard lessons that will be difficult to apply to her life, then reads another aloud: "If I dwell on what I don't want, then I'll get more of it." In an interview, Nicole says that she tends to be a negative person, and she wants to become more positive. On the one hand, whatever floats your boat. On the other hand, it all sounds very Oprah "Remember Your Spirit" to me. ["I was going to say, did Dr. Phil write these cards?" -- Wing Chun]
Nicole walks into work and everyone else is already there. She's wearing some very unflattering plaid pants. I speak from experience when I say that those of us who are endowed with asses that are above average in size should not wear patterns on the bottom half. It's a lesson I've learned the hard way, and it involved floral leggings (hey, it was the early '90s) and an unfortunately timed photograph. I'll never forget it. Anyway, Nicole voice-overs that she wants the Turtleneck Twins to know that she works just as hard as everyone else. Speaking of the Turtleneck Twins, they enter the office, and Nicole tries to look like she's been there just as long as anyone else. Adam is wearing a chocolate (never brown) turtleneck, but Devin bucks the trend with a baby blue V-neck. He's such a rebel. Devin explains that the roommates are going to be split up into two teams, and each team will decorate a window in a [product placement] record store. It will be a contest between the two teams, and Adam is quick to point out that he and his life partner, Devin, won't be the judges. Nicole gets a big grin on her face. In an interview, Nicole is very, very pink as she says that she is really competitive, especially when she feels that she hasn't been appreciated. Devin announces that Team A will build a window for Dido, and consist of Rachel, Nicole, Mike, and Malik. Team B will build a window for Outkast, and consist of Quarrel, Kevin, and Lori. The Turtleneck Twins leave, and the teams huddle up at opposite ends of the office. Nicole tells her team that they need to keep their ideas "top secret" because "this is war." They all put their hands in the middle and do a little cheer, accidentally knocking over a juice bottle in the process. Off-camera, Nicole accepts her fifty bucks for fomenting dissent since nothing else interesting is going on.
Statue of Liberty Shot #7. Mike strikes a muscleman pose and then stomps into the computer room, where Quarrel is on the phone. Mike pretends to punch her a number of times, complete with sound effects, and then pronounces that he is "the Miz." Quarrel pretty much ignores him, and tells him a few times to get the hell out. That would be really annoying. Mike voice-overs that the Miz is a character he created who is like a professional wrestler. Mike pretends to hold a microphone and cuts a promo. Didn't I already finish recapping Tough Enough? Oh, right. That was the interesting show I recapped on MTV. The one that didn't make me want to stab myself in the head. Mike continues with his Miz crap, and Quarrel tells him to get the hell out, but not in a mean way, just in a "I'm trying to use the phone" way. Mike stomps out. In an interview, Quarrel says that she doesn't get annoyed with Mike anymore, because she's stopped taking him seriously. Lori comes in to see what's happening, and Quarrel kind of giggles over the whole thing. Mike throws a little Miz biz at Lori too.