Ew! I have not missed the Nathan/Stephanie phone conversations one bit. Anyway, they are chatting on the videophone and Stephanie is lying on her bed with her hand on her stomach and her shirt hiked up and I just can't think about it anymore. Nathan is saying some idiotic thing about how "I love you" is more than just three words, and Stephanie never knew she could love someone this much and oh God, I'm going to puke now. In an interview, Nathan says that Stephanie is coming to visit and "every emotion is going to pour out." On the phone, Nathan tells Stephanie to "go to bed and dream about..." and then he imitates the sound of bedsprings creaking. Oh, good Lord. You know, when Danny talks to Paul on the New Orleans season, it really doesn't bother me. In fact, it's cute. But this is just too much. Ew! Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Stephanie lifts up her shirt and flashes Nathan her left breast. Nathan drops the phone, like it was exciting or something. The picture is so bad, all he saw was like three flesh-colored pixels. Whatever. In a confessional, Irene says she's excited to meet Nathan's girlfriend. What, she doesn't know her name? That confessional was probably filmed like the second day they were in the house. Nathan shows Irene some of the stuff that Stephanie sent him, including "a bottle of wine, candy, handcuffs, candy, candy." Irene and I are both like, "Wait, whoa. Handcuffs?" Irene wants to try them, but Nathan wants to wait and have "a ceremonial breaking-in" when Stephanie arrives. Irene finally gets what they are really for, as Nathan asks if she thought they were going to play "cops and robbers?" Well, they are, but in a dirty way. In a confessional, Irene says Stephanie shouldn't be threatened by Irene's relationship with Nathan.
David is in the studio, working on his tape. In an interview, Lindsay gives me the best laugh I've had since Stephen said they were all "academians" by referring to the roommates as "a bunch of overachievers." Bwa! Yeah, they work really hard at...well, nothing mostly. Going out to clubs? Scrounging up change for another pack of Marlboro Lights? Anyway, Lindsay thinks this radio competition would be an "uncomfortable situation." Nathan says, in an interview, that he's going to "throw elbows and knees and kick people in the balls" to get on the air. Wait, am I recapping The Real World or WWF Smackdown? The female roommates are trying to work out who gets to use the studio when. In an interview, Janet explains that a "dry run" is when you put in a tape and "do a couple of breaks," which really didn't explain anything at all. There is a shot of a whiteboard with a schedule written on it. Cue montage of various roommates (Irene, Lindsay, Stephen) screwing up their tapes. In an interview, Rebecca says that they're not guaranteed a radio show, unless they understand what they are doing.