Real World
Opening Day

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
Insane In The Membrane

Tyler and Jose walk Paula into the house, keeping her mad. "Apparently, I need to yell at you," Paula tells Zach. Zach is confused, but Jose, enjoying this, whispers that Zach should listen to how funny she's being. Paula says that she was working all day, and John was sleeping. Jose and Paula continue, talking to Zach. More talking. More talking about work. Tyler comes in. Zach also makes the mistake of trying to reason with a crazy person, telling her that John does not have some vendetta against her. Zach tells her that she drew him into a fight that night. Paula flips it around, saying that it was John's fault. Delusional, but funny! She gets mad and walks away from Zach, who keeps scratching his giant fro, Key West bugs nesting within. Paula flips out, telling Zach to kiss her ass, hyperventilating again, saying that she hates living in the house and that Zach is an asshole. Zach is a fucking moron for trying to reason with her in this state. Big dumb-dumb. Paula stumbles out of the phone room as a terrible song plays.

Paula sits on up on the stairwell and throws her shoes. Commercials.

Day. Pool. Janelle does some yoga-lates by the pool. Phone room. Paula talks to Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith With The Terrible MySpace Page Who Should Be Arrested For Both Crimes Against Women And HTML. Paula picks her scabs, telling Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith that she can't remember why she got into fights with everyone on the ride home. "I don't know, babe," replies Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith, no doubt stroking the sleeping head of some less insane girl sleeping next to him. Paula goes into her baby voice, saying that she thinks John made fun of her "scars and stuff" in front of everyone last night. "That's not cool," says Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith, who probably gave her said scars. Also: they're "scabs," Paula. Scabs. Not scars. We see her picking. Paula says she thinks the best decision she could make would be to stop drinking. Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith says that would be hard in Key West. He really just doesn't want her to sober up and realize what a dangerously insane shithead she's semi-dating. She tells him she really wants to go see the doctor again; she loves the shrink. Criminally Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Keith advises that instead of going out drinking with the kids, she could stay home and "do some serious yoga." What a fucking dick.

Water. Water. FORD! truck, but not theirs. Just a passing Ford that they happen to focus on the logo of. Nice accidental embedded product placement. Salon -- which is just another big product placement. John talks to the boys about Paula and how he doesn't really want to talk to her anymore. "If she's drinking, I don't want to be around her," John explains, rather rationally. Tyler thinks she drinks "aggressively." Dr. Tyler tells us that he thinks it's all because she doesn't get her emotions out through running, writing in a journal, or yoga. Heh. John and Tyler keep discussing. I keep not listening.

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Real World




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