Real World
Opening Day

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
Insane In The Membrane

House. The others stand around. Paula and Svet both blacked out and don't remember a lot about last night. Paula asks if it was her fault that the fight started. No! Of course not! Janelle was apparently the sober driver last night, so she clues them all in on the fight, telling Paula that it was indeed her fault. Paula is very shocked. The best thing is that Svet, twice, informs Paula gleefully that John called her tits "mosquito bites," smiling each time. Very nice for her D-cup-having ass to say. Paula then camera-pouts that she's embarrassed. Paula says that when John talked about her scabs and everyone got quiet, that's when she knew it "wasn't cool." What, picking or the fight? How about we just say "everything." Everything isn't cool in your world.

House. Day. Pool Water.

Salon. Moped. Salon. Tyler and John talk. The girls, plus Jose (also kind of a girl), arrive. John and Paula talk. John tells Paula his decision -- that he can't be around her when she drinks. She agrees that it's "scary" when she suddenly switches and freaks out. John says that it's simple: she should stop drinking. She talks about Janelle telling her it was her fault last night. "That's not okay. And I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that, ever," says Paula, by way of a non-apology. Paula says that she's trying. "Yeah," says John. Problem solved!

House. Night.

Day. Water. House. Paula camera-bones that she likes talking to the doctor and that he doesn't make her feel crazy. Paula drives, dropping John off at the gym. They talk. Paula says it's "weird," going to the shrink. John reveals he's been to a shrink before, and that it's the doctor's job to make her feel comfortable opening up. John tells us he hopes this "issue" between them isn't going to come up again. Oh, it is. Paula drives to the shrink. We don't get to go with her this time.

Water. The sun sets. House. Night. Deck. Paula talks to Tyler about the doctor, saying that he made connections between how she behaves now and how she was raised. Tyler pretends to give a shit. "I love going to therapy," she tells us. He's helping her not to be so "negative." He also told her that she's drinking to "black out," and that it's bad and toxic. The doctor told Paula that she needs not to get so drunk and out of control, because clearly it's not fun for anyone. Paula is happy to be going to the doctor. Tyler makes her slap him high five, a PEPSI! strategically placed in the shot.

On the next...The kids have a food fight. Janelle and Jose get into a fight out on the street. "You are a nobody, so stop," says Jose. Heh. Hey, look at that. Nick Lachey has a video. So cute. Too bad his sitcom pilot for the CW didn't get picked up this past week, even though it faced competition from exactly one other pilot in consideration on the network. Aw.

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Real World




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