Big ups to Wing Chun and Glark for being both crazy and beautiful, and to the posters in the forums for coming up with such great nicknames. If I miscredit any of you, be sure to let me know.
Previously on The Real World: Nicole told Malik and poor Jason the reject that she lives in the ghetto. Malik said he wants to get to know Nicole better. Mike made some racist comments attributed to his racist uncle, and Coral told him to shut up. Coral told her friend that Mike is going to go down.
Mike, Quarrel (tm julieyousuck), and Nicole sit in the living room at the Apartment with No Name. It's very much like the Horse with No Name, but it hasn't been through the desert. I can verify, however, that the heat was hot. Mike the Greenwich Village Idiot (tm Wing Chun) is telling some inane story. Coral is totally ripping on him, saying that Mike is the only one laughing at his own story, and making fun of Mike's laugh. Mike tries to ignore her and says that he needs a haircut. Quarrel asks him what his haircut is called. Mike tells her it's called a fade. Quarrel says something about "fade and sparkle" and cackles wildly at her own joke, even though she just made fun of Mike for doing the same thing. Wait, why am I defending Mike? I hate this show. Mike asks Quarrel how she thinks he should do his hair. Quarrel says that Mike's hair looks "ostrichy." Okay, Mike is dorky, but I don't see any serious problems with his hair. In a confessional, Mike says that he likes his hair. Oh, Mike. Don't get sucked into Quarrel's games. Just walk away. Quarrel tells Mike that he should cut his hair off. In an interview, Quarrel says that she likes to give Mike a hard time because he's "an easy target." And that's called bullying. Quarrel continues to make fun of Mike, and Nicole disappoints me by joining in a little bit. Mike points out that he and Kevin have the same hairstyle, but Quarrel says that the difference is that Mike's head is bigger. In a confessional, Mike says that today must be "Pick on Mike Day." If he'd been reading the forums, he'd know that it's actually "Pick on Mike Week." ["Shall I start campaigning now for 'Pick on Mike Season'?" -- Wing Chun]