Real World
Ranch Undressing

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Wild Wild Wes
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

So, before we get started, I'd just like to thank the extraordinary Kim for all her hard years of service keeping you up to date with the goings-on of The Real World skank and skankettes. She sure set the bar high. It has no doubt been hard, and she deserves tons of respect, not to mention this lifelong break from ever again having to type the following:

Previously on The Real World, Wes drunkenly told the blank-faced and embarrassed Wren that he could "change" for her. Melinda drunkenly confronted Danny about his post-Mommy funeral coldness toward her. I'm pretty sure I could safely set a macro to insert the world "drunkenly" before any verb in these recaps, and be accurate. Melinda camera-talked that Danny keeps backing off. Danny drunkenly lamented to Wes the limited pussy-gathering opportunities he's had here in Austin with Melinda's former-stripper-pussy usually blocking his view of others. And...credits. If you need them recapped...you're not a real fan of the show!

Austin. Cars. Shots of downtown. Ah, Austin. I have good memories of that place, because it's the city in which I met queso, Amy's Ice Cream, and my wife (not necessarily listed in order of importance). Austin. Austin. The warehouse. Danny showers, water dripping in a craggy line off his broken eye hole. Melinda and Johanna play on the computer (no doubt looking at Melinda's recently much-passed-around boob shots on the internet). Danny camera-whines that his thing with Melinda has been fast, and that he feels like he both doesn't know her and is married to her. Hey, that's how I felt about queso when I first had it, but I can tell you, there wasn't a thing to worry about. I knew that over time queso and I would share and experience everything. And sure, I'd be tempted to dip my tortilla chips into other delicious spicy bowls of hot cheese, but I would never do it. Because queso and I made an unspoken commitment from that first bite. I mean, me and my wife did. Wait. I'm confused now.

Mel and Johanna have shut down the porn and are now looking at the website of some dude ranch thing called Rancho Cortez, reading about the activities. Mel camera-talks that she's never been to a dude ranch before and is excited. As she does whenever she feels excited, she goes to find the naked Danny. She hands him the brochure of the ranch and tells him they're going to go "camping," and that she did "research" and found the joint by herself. Danny's broken eye hole couldn't care less. He camera-talks some more about Melinda -- get ready because this shit is a refrain we're going to be hearing a lot -- saying that he likes Melinda but that he doesn't want to miss out on other queso. Or something. He says he doesn't want to go camping and she boobs off in a huff, saying that Danny is "no fun." Unless he's fucking her.

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Real World

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