Previously on The Real World, Teck hooked up with a lot of women and Annoying gave Colin a backrub even though he was mean to her. So, this episode is going to be about relationships: Teck's relationships with various women, and Annoying's relationship with Colin.
Annoying and Colin are in the kitchen (and I swear to God I think she's baking a pie for him -- why else would she be rolling out dough?). They are bantering back and forth about how she wants to marry a tall guy so her kids will be tall (even though it doesn't really work that way), and how he doesn't want to marry her and she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with him and he doesn't even want to spend another day with her. That hurts her feelings, I guess, because she says, "It hurts my feelings when you say such rude things to me, and yet you don't mind sleeping with me at night. From now on, I won't be kissing you until you can shape up." Well, although it would solve a lot of the problems the two of them face in this episode, that's not actually what she says. Instead, she tells Colin she's going to punch him because he deserves it. Stop the violence! Colin reaches out and grabs her forehead to keep her out of punching range and she whines, "You messed up my hair!" Oh, Lord.
Colin, Annoying and Wonder Bread are in the van. Colin tells Annoying not to wear lipstick and Annoying tells Colin she will wear lipstick if she wants to. Did she just stand up for herself there? I can't believe it! Colin asks Wonder Bread if he would kiss those lips, and he says no because he's respectful. Does he mean that he respects Colin's relationship with Annoying, or he respects Annoying? But he says her lips look pretty. Then he pops the world's tiniest boner. In a confessional, Wonder Bread opines, "The last thing a sensitive woman needs is an insensitive man. And yet Colin and Amaya are a couple." Are they, though? By what standards? Back in the van, Colin and Annoying have the most disturbing argument about whether or not Annoying orders Colin to "Spoon her!" in the bed at night. Can I just say that if I were Justin, I would have slit my wrists long ago. Can you imagine listening to those two in bed at night? I can't stand listening to them for three minutes!
Teck comes home wearing a jester hat for some reason. Wonder Bread welcomes him at the door (First he's the driver, now he's a doorman? Is that the only way he could get camera time?). Teck introduces his "date" Leilani to Wonder Bread, and proceeds into the house. Leilani kisses Wonder Bread hello, and he reacts strongly for the camera's sake. Come on, if he was standing there alone with no cameras, would he really have reacted that way? Hardly.