Real World
Relationships Are a Bitch

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Relationships Are a Bitch

Teck says picking up a prostitute would be the only thing that could ruin the integrity of the van. He starts to say something, then stops himself. After hardly anyone begs him to continue, he does so by beginning the story of Annoying asking him about Leilani. He gets three words out before Annoying interrupts and finishes his sentence. We see Teck and Leilani getting into bed, while in a voice-over Annoying says, "Turns out she's not a prostitute, just a stripper. Same difference, sorry." Well, not exactly. A prostitute has sex for money. A stripper shows her body for money. While some prostitutes are strippers, and some strippers are prostitutes, they are not the same thing. Besides which, the phrase "same difference" makes no sense. That's just a pet peeve of mine. Just say "no difference" or "same thing".

Teck notes that "sorority girl" (hee hee!) is passing judgment on him and Wonder Bread pipes up, "This wasn't the world's biggest 'bring home to mama' type of gal". I swear, he said "gal." See? He is seventy-five.

Tetanus Girl yells out, "Are we going to the store or what?" and in an interview, Teck says, "People who pass judgment on someone from the first time they see 'em. They're not very educated either."

Back at the house, everyone but Ruthie is gathered around talking about love. Annoying spouts off a lot of self-help psychobabble about letting love happen. Colin says he always tries to use "if," not "when," in reference to love in his life. Like, "If I get married," not "When I get married." He says this as if it's the biggest revelation, and goes on about it for 10 minutes. No one else cares, except maybe Annoying. Teck is so bored, he's falling asleep on the counter, until Annoying asks him if he's ever been in love. Teck says he's loved lots of women but he's never been in love. OK, another pet peeve for me is the whole love/in love false dichotomy, but that's a rant for another day. Teck says he's loved women enough to leave them alone because he's not the right man for them. Is it my imagination, or is he looking pointedly at Colin while saying this? Colin, Annoying and Wonder Bread look surprised and Wonder Bread says, "That is profound" and Annoying says, in the most obnoxiously Valley Girl accent over, "That is sooo saaad".

Colin is talking to his friend Trevor on the phone (remember him from the Casting Special?) and telling him that Annoying sleeps in his bed every night because there's a wiener there. Colin says it has nothing to do with him, she just wants a wiener. Is Colin twelve years old? Because that's the last time I heard anyone use the word "wiener" in reference to his dick. In an interview, Annoying says, "It's not fair for him to treat me like crap. It doesn't work for me at all." That's all well and good, sweetheart, but actions speak louder than words.

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Real World




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