We open with the fish tank. The fish are starting to eat each other. This amuses Pam, but "traumatizes" Rachel. Just in case we aren't smart enough to figure out that the people living in the Real Life Fish Tank are eating each other (Puck), Rachel points out that when the fish are healthy, the humans don't fight in the house. Judd points out which fish Puck described as himself. Then two days later, the "Fish Guy" took the Puck fish out because it was eating the other fish. "Makes you wonder," Judd smiles. Is this show really worth recapping? I'm asking seriously. Makes you wonder, indeed.
This is the true story of seven strangers picked to live in an apartment and slowly bore us into watching the ABC network.
Judd looks upset when he announces that they have to have a new roommate. We get random shots of everyone the night they kicked out Puck, since that was the last time they were all together. Cut to Rachel and Cory leaning over a kitchen counter, hoping the new roommate is a boy. Cory is chanting the word "boy!" Judd says that they had their shot with a boy and they blew it and now it's time for a girl. He explains it again. Then he explains it to us. Repetition. It's what's for breakfast. And for breakfast. Breakfast. Judd adds that the new roommate must have "a fetish for cartoonists." The thought of "Judd" and "fetish" all in the same room makes me queasy. Rachel and Cory want a boy. Pedro tells us that he doesn't care if it's a guy or a girl, but that he doesn't want someone "confrontational."
The phone rings; Cory answers, and it's Puck. She then tells us that the phone rang, that she answered the telephone, and that it was Puck. Did they only have five minutes of footage for this episode, or something? Why with the repetition? Puck starts bitching out Cory again for not being his friend. He says he's still a human "breathing." Cory says that she knows he breathes. Puck says that he's put a lot of work into his friendship with the roommates.
Cory stands in the kitchen (these guys are always, always, always in the kitchen) and says that Puck's fiancée is having a party that evening. Pam eats a banana. Cory says that they're invited, and that Puck is pissed they haven't called him yet.
House meeting. The topic: Puck. Is it ever anything else? Rachel thinks that Puck is being nice by extending this invitation and that they should all go over there and put in a small appearance. Cory's drink has a spoon in it. She says that when she went to visit him, he just gave her a guilt trip. All of the other housemates agonize over whether they should drag their lame asses over to Puck's freaky party. Cory pouts. "How much are we gonna come back for?" she whines.