That truly is a masterpiece for our times. Hey, he didn't have to go and perform it in the confessional. He could've kept it to himself.

Eiffel Tower Shot Quatre. Ace and Leah hang out in Ace's room. Ace complains that his room is dirty. Already? He shows Leah a picture of his mom. Ace interviews that his mother died of breast cancer three years ago. Ace says that his mom was like his sister, and that she gave him advice. He adds that he's scared that he'll get married and his wife will get breast cancer. That's actually kind of sad. Ace says that it was painful to see his mom go through that, and that she fought cancer for thirteen years. Leah looks glum as the Sad Music of Ace's Dead Mom plays. Because B/M is all about exploiting family tragedy for good television. Later, Leah tells Mallory about Ace's mom, and adds that Leah always wears a pink ribbon to promote awareness of breast cancer. She does? This is the first time I've noticed it. Now I'm totally going to be looking for it. Leah interviews that breast cancer is her cause. Leah tells Mallory that she thinks Ace's problems with smoking are cancer-related. Or that he hates the smell, which is what he said. Leah feels like every time she smokes, she's reminding Ace of his mom, and that she feels bad. Well, that might be taking it a little far. She shouldn't smoke, sure. In a confessional, Leah says that she keeps remembering Ace talking about his wife potentially dying of breast cancer. Later, Ace and Leah walk outside. Leah says that she's going to quit smoking, and Ace says he's happy for her. Again, quitting smoking? Good. Quitting smoking for this reason? Weird. But I guess anything that gets her to quit is good. Ace interviews that he'll try to help Leah out. Leah interviews that Ace is reason enough for her to quit.

In rapid succession, we get Eiffel Tower Shots Cinq, Six, et Sept. The roommates go out to a club, dancing. Adam dances goofily with Mallory, who laughs and laughs. Adam interviews that he's a goofball and that he tries to make things fun. Adam dances around like a clown, trying to keep Mallory's attention. She stops looking at him to take a drink, and he keeps yelling her name. Adam interviews that he gets infatuated quickly, and that Mallory has everything he looks for in a woman. Mallory dances while Simon (I think) grabs her from behind and totally feels her up. Mallory interviews that she likes to party and that she's outgoing. She adds that when she's out, she usually ends up making out with someone. As you do. Mallory dances with Simon, and he asks some guy's name. The guy's face is blurred, and he still manages to look totally cheeseball. His name is Dre. I guess we're supposed to think Simon was trying to hook Mallory up, but maybe he was looking to hook up himself. Adam, meanwhile, is dancing with some other girl, but keeps turning to check out what Mallory is up to. Mallory squeezes Dre's arm and laughs. Adam interviews that he can look in a woman's eyes and tell if she's attracted to him, and that he knows Mallory isn't. So what's the big? She's not. Move on.