Real World
Sense of Wonder

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Sense of Wonder

The roommates scamper about and check out the house. Adam finds the confessional and, as Christina watches, pretends that he's doing a confessional and saying that he can't stand Christina. Adam likes to perform, doesn't he? It shows how old I am that the room that impressed me the most was the kitchen. Like, I seriously paused it and tried to figure out if they were real stone floors or some sort of laminate. And those bitches have copper pots! Adam wants to go through the names again so that he can learn them. He comments that Mallory's name is like Family Ties. What a coincidence! I just watched the Justine Bateman E! True Hollywood Story. I'll sum it up for you. Smart, school, TV show, Leif Garrett, stalker, eating disorder, dropped out of the business, fashion designer, married, baby. Now you don't have to watch it. In a confessional, Adam says that Mallory is hot. Man, what is it about her? She's inherited Joey Potter's IT. Mallory says she wants to go to the Paris Opera, and Adam says that she's cultured. Mallory says she wants to know all she can by the end of the experience. Adam interviews that he wants his wife to look like Mallory, and that he thinks she's beautiful, so all he can think about is that he wants to get to know her. And it's driving him nuts.

Now for the big bedroom debate. Christina and Leah agree that three girls in one room might be "a loooooot of estrogen." Mallory, Leah, and Simon decide to room together. Mallory interviews that she thinks Leah and Simon are a lot of fun. Leah is psyched to have "Simon in [her] life." Adam agrees to their plan but, like, ten minutes later realizes it means that one of the guys will have to room with a girl. Adam interviews that he's already dropped his bags on a bed, and Chris put his bags in the same room. Adam concludes, "Someone's gonna get screwed, and it's gonna be Ace." He's screwed because he has to room with Christina? Whom Chris has already described as hot with a smoking body? Let's see: Adam considers it a punishment to live with a girl, and he thinks Ace is really hot. And who's the gay roommate again? Ace tells Christina that he lived with another female friend, but that it didn't turn out well. But he points out that they have their own bathroom. In a confessional, Ace says he thinks it'll be good to room with Christina, because "she wears her heart on her shoulder." On her shoulder? Sounds painful.

Ace and Adam carry a giant Rubbermaid storage bin into the room. Christina yells that it looks like a coffin. Yes, because coffins are so often made out of plastic. And blue. Maybe in Las Vegas, that's what coffins look like. Ace opens it and starts pulling out a bunch of big hats. Christina laughs and puts on a giant sombrero and starts singing "The Mexican Hat Dance." And trips. Heh. Ace interviews that he brought "a lot of weird stuff" to "lighten the mood." What is he, Carrot Top?

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