Real World
Shut UP, Dan!

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Shut UP, Dan!

Dan is talking again. He says, "You're all waiting for us to blossom," while making a queeny blossoming gesture. Mike says, "I am really fucking sick of analogies." Flora applauds. That was mean. Mike then asks, "Why can't we just talk straight business?" Whoops. Maybe "plain" would have been a better word choice. Seeds, you are now planted. Dan says he "can't do that -- sorry." Hmmm. Then Dan says he's "tense because he was laughed at several times." Mike says Dan laughed at an idea of his before. But this is different! Dan says he wishes "you just phrased things differently." Joe says Dan could work on that himself, and that he speaks "clean and to the point, that's what talking business is about." Or rather, talking business isn't about running on and on forever. The group gets up and takes a break.

Dan leaves the house and very theatrically gestures his frustration. For whatever reason, Melissa follows him to find out what's wrong. She must be some glutton for punishment. Dan cries, and says, "It all came out! Whenever you move to a new place and have such an intense, horrendous handicap against you..." Melissa asks what that may be. Is it? I knew it! Dan's retarded. It all makes sense now! Kidding. Dan says "the gay thing." I think that's your new nickname, Dan! But only when you annoy me. So, Melissa says, "Why are you making such an issue about that? A million people..." The Gay Thing cuts her off, saying he knows, he knows, but how can he know when he just cut her off? Dan runs on at the mouth AGAIN as Melissa explains for us, "When you talk to Dan, you don't get to do a lot of talking -- you listen." Dan says, "I don't think I talk too much! If I thought I talked too much, I wouldn't talk so much!" We. GET. IT.

Cyn's out with Tony again, at a hockey game. Their seats are right up against the ceiling, but Tony's totally into it, cheering and everything. Cyn sips her drink and looks bored. Voice-over says, "I don't want him to like me." Uh-oh. When Tony asks for a sip of her drink, Cyn barely notices him, then gives him an icy look. Mmm, that's refreshing. He asks, "Are you cool with me?" Cyn says yeah, but the answer is clearly no. She ignores him for the rest of the evening. Tony looks bummed. Then, while on the phone, Cyn's friend says Cyn only doesn't like Tony because he's not Trevor. "If he treated you bad, then you'd like him." Sigh.

The Gay Thing is saying to Sarah and Joe, "I don't like talking about myself." Then you are a masochist, Gay Thing. Sarah says he "loves it." The Gay Thing asks, "Do I like talking about myself too much?" Oh my god, YES! YES YOU DO! Now SHUT UP, Dan! SHUT! UP! Joe says, "uh." Amazing show of leadership abilities, not. Sarah says for Joe, "You're neutral on this topic!" Well, I'm not, so shut up, Dan! Dan says he knows things are being said behind his back, and Sarah reminds him that "that's how people communicate, they talk. You talking a lot has nothing to do with you being gay." Word, and WORD. But, "Some of the roommates have brought it up." Dan rolls his eyes and says that's "really unpleasant to hear, after you put your trust in people...." Sarah says incredulously, "You trusted them? I don't trust anyone here." Wow, what a horrible living situation for anyone to be in. Dan puts his head down as Sarah adds that maybe Dan has a reason to be suspicious of people.

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Real World




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