Real World
Soft Focus

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Soft Focus

Previously on The Real World: Lori revealed that she wants to be a singer. Devin and Adam, their bosses at Arista, told the roommates that they have to assemble focus groups, and would be split into two teams. One team is Nicole, Malik, Kevin, and Rachel. The other team is Mike, Quarrel, and Lori. They will need to find twenty people interested in rock music to listen and give feedback on up-and-coming Arista artists.

Lori sits at the computer desk, wearing headphones, and singing loudly. Like, really loudly. Like, "Please get me a tissue to wipe the blood coming from my eardrums" volume. Quarrel is on the phone, and she rolls her eyes. She actually out-eyerolls Kameelah, performing the supremely difficult "roll around one way, then halfway back, then completely around again" maneuver. Don't try this one at home, kids. Only professionals can do that. Mike and Rachel giggle over how loud Lori is. Rachel tells Lori that she loves her, "but please don't sing." Lori gets all offended and says that's like telling her not to breathe. Well, if she were breathing as loudly as she was singing, I'd probably ask her to cut that out too. There's nothing worse than a heavy breather. Lori tells them that she needs to practice singing or she will lose her abilities, and if that happens, she's going to blame her roommates. Mike says that she won't lose her abilities, because it's like riding a bike. I can't really take a side in that debate, because I don't know. I guess she probably does have to practice, but it seems really rude to do it so loudly when everyone is home. Lori bitches some more, but Mike and Rachel don't want to hear about it. Should Rachel really be accusing other people of having an annoying voice? In an interview, Lori says that everyone is unsympathetic to her music, which is the biggest passion in her life. I don't think they are unsympathetic to her music; they're just unsympathetic to her screeching in their ears. Lori makes a big production about going to the roof to sing. In an interview, Mike says that Lori is a drama queen about her singing. Lori sings on the roof, as loud as ever, and now with the added bonus of hitting every note on the scale in a Mariah Carey-esque fashion, which would drive me up a tree.

Mike bitches to the men about Lori's singing, relaying the story of Lori stomping through the house to go sing on the balcony. Malik giggles like a little girl. Mike is so thrilled that someone is actually laughing with him and not at him that he keeps going. What he doesn't realize is that Malik is probably just stoned. What we didn't see after the cameras left the room: Mike asking, "Is this thing on?" Mike says that he could still hear Lori singing from the roof. I'm surprised that the neighbors don't complain. In an interview, Kevin says that Lori has a beautiful voice, but it's "like a seal in labor." So, he bought some earplugs for the guys. The guys put in earplugs.

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Real World

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