Real World
Southern Charm

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Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Southern Charm

Brad comes out of his room, fully dressed. Cameran says that he's disgusting, and that she's completely lost respect for him. Brad tells her to shush. Brad interviews that Cameran is immature. Unlike Brad, who just told her to shush, which is really mature. Cameran says that she wants to throw up. Brad does he-man poses, and everyone laughs. Cameran interviews that Brad is a player, and that he obviously doesn't go for girls with class, and that she thought he wasn't that type of guy.

Later, Frankie says that Cameran thinks anything related to sex is gross. Randy says that he doubts that she's ever had an orgasm. Cameran walks into the room and says that Randy is right. Randy channels the viewing audience when he asks how she can own a vibrator and say that she's never had an orgasm. Cameran clarifies that she's never had an orgasm with a guy. Frankie asks how many partners Cameran has had, and she says that she's only had one, because she's not a very sexual person. Frankie thinks that's bullshit. Cameran says she's never been in love, which is why she doesn't have a lot of sexual experience. Randy tells her that she "can't assign negative things towards things that aren't negative." What? I don't know. Randy interviews that Cameran is angry and narrow-minded. Cameran says that it's just her opinion, and Randy thinks that it's an unhealthy opinion. Cameran tells everyone that they're getting on her "nerve," and walks out. She only has one nerve? She should become a stuntwoman or something.

And now it's time for The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. At first, I was going to tell you about this movie I watched called Nightscream, which seemed like it had a lot of potential because it was on Lifetime Movie Network, and it starred Candace Cameron Bure and Teri Garr, and it was supposed to be about a woman (CCB) who is possessed by the ghost of a murder victim. Sounds pretty awesome, right? But I started watching it and about halfway through I realized that I had no fucking clue what in the hell was going on. And not in a "Oh, this movie has a lot of twists and turns and I wonder what will happen next" kind of way. More in a "Were the writers on crack when they came up with this shit?" kind of way. First of all, they expected the viewers to just accept that CCB was possessed, like that happens every day in the normal course of things, and it was never explained, and no one was like, "Possessed by a ghost? That's crazy talk!" And then CCB's character was an identical twin (in terms of looks alone) to the dead girl, to the point where CCB played both roles, which is just a little bit unbelievable. And there were dream sequences in which CCB wore a white nightgown for no apparent reason other than that she was supposed to be a ghost. I don't know. So I stopped watching it. So The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week was when Julie lost in the Inferno and had to leave, because I spent the last three weeks screaming at the television, "I hate you, Julie!" and "Fuck off, Julie!" and shit like that, and I think my neighbors were about to call the cops. So Julie and her annoying big-toothed self can just fuck right off. Which is awesome.

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Real World




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