Real World

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 279 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Spice Up Your Life

Jisela and Malik arrive at the apartment. Jisela says that they just went to a psychic, and it was weird. Quarrel wants to know whether they had their cards read, and when Jisela reveals that they had their palms read, Quarrel isn't interested anymore. Because, you know, tarot cards are so much more valid a psychic endeavor than palm reading. And I say this as someone who owns a deck of tarot cards. Anyway, Malik tells Quarrel that the psychic said he was in a big relationship. In a confessional, Malik sighs, "God, I love her so much." Man, is his heart about to be broken, or what? Jisela and Malik discuss eyebrow waxing and plucking while lying in the bed. Jisela wants to pluck a hair from Malik's goatee, and they start wrestling around, and then making out. Yes, hair removal is sexy. What is it with this episode and the hair removal? In an interview, Malik dreamily says that he and Jisela "kissed and cuddled all night long." Aw. I feel bad for him already.

The people from the Casting Special start showing up for the trip to the Hamptons. We see Patrice, Jenn, and Vanessa. Who? Exactly. ADDam shows up as well, and Bobby arrives. Jisela runs down the stairs and starts humping Blair. Did they even like each other on Road Rules? Didn't he vote her off? I know I didn't see every episode, but what the hell did I miss there? In the confessional, Blair says that he and Jisela couldn't hook up before, because Blair had a girlfriend, but now Blair is single, so they are free to have sex.

Blair and Jisela sit outside and discuss how Jisela got together with Malik. Jisela tells the story about the visit to the strip club, and how "one thing led to another," and they slept together. Blair jokes, "I know you were easy, but I didn't know you were that easy." At least I hope he was joking. Jisela laughs, anyway. Jisela voice-overs something about Blair thinking that he was going to sleep with her. It sounded like half of a sentence, which was cut off in the middle.

Real World

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