Real World
Spice Up Your Life

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Spice Up Your Life

The sporadically shown "tag" from the end of the previous show reappears tonight. And it's bad news. Rachel sprays an entire bottle of water on a fully clothed Mike, who just sits there with a blank expression. She laughs, and makes sure to douse his crotch and nipples. It's all very disturbing, especially because Mike doesn't appear to have any reaction until it's all over. Then he laughs. Rachel does, too, and squeals something that I couldn't interpret, because I'm not a dolphin. Something to the effect that she broke it, and she wonders whether Mike is feeling a little cleaner.

Previously on The Real World: Nicole loves Bobby, but Bobby doesn't feel the same. Bobby came to visit, but Nicole still didn't get any. Nicole is convinced that Bobby is the one for her. Jisela turned up like a bad penny, and had sex with Malik. In an interview, Malik said that "she" doesn't have casual sex, and that they're together because they love each other. Was he talking about Jisela? Possibly. Not definitely.

Malik talks to Jisela on the phone, telling her how much he wants to see her. In an interview that takes place in front of a blue screen so that it makes Malik's hair look really funny, Malik says that he really misses Jisela. They splice in footage of Jisela talking on a pay phone and laughing it up, but I would bet dollars to doughnuts that she's not talking to Malik. Because why would they have cameras on her at home? And why would she be talking on a pay phone at home? Malik tells us that he's bringing Jisela to New York. In an interview, Malik says that they "both love each other so much." Whoa. Isn't it a little early for the loving? Malik tells Jisela that he loves her, and Jisela returns the sentiment before they hang up.

Malik and Mike eat dinner at the Chelsea Grill. Mike bites into an enormous burger while Malik waxes rhapsodic about how much he loves Jisela. In an interview, Mike says that Jisela is definitely the person for Malik. Malik talks some more about how much he and Jisela miss each other. I don't think this is going to end well.

In an interview, Lori says that there was a document on their computer, and that they opened it to find that they are going on a trip to the Hamptons. Wait, didn't they already take a trip? Why do they get two? Quarrel, Nicole, Rachel, and Lori gather around the computer and cheer. Quarrel does a little cheer, but she's talking so fast that I can't understand what she's saying. Basically, she's excited to go on this trip. In an interview, Quarrel says that all she knows about the Hamptons is that "rich people live there, and where rich people live, it's cool!" Man, why couldn't Quarrel have been funny earlier in the season? It would have saved me a lot of time with the hating and stuff. Rachel reads that they will all be allowed to invite one person from the Casting Special to attend. Why? Who cares about those losers? I mean, I'm sure they're nice people and all, but I'd rather see the cast members each invite a boyfriend or girlfriend from home or something. This is all just dumb. In an interview, Rachel says that having their friends from casting return is "like coming full circle." Quarrel tells Kevin that they are going to the Hamptons. In an interview, Malik says that Jisela was supposed to come up at the same time that they are going to the Hamptons, so she's coming along.

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Real World

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