There's no “previously” segment, and I'm going to skip recapping what will happen "tonight on Real World" because I'm just going to recap it in a minute anyway, so why bother?

CJP and Kyle go to a restaurant. In fact, this might be the same footage from when they went to a restaurant while Keri was in New Orleans -- that footage of CJP sucking a drink through a straw looks awfully familiar. Kyle asks, "So what's the deal with Jared?" Well, he ate some veggie subs at Subway and lost a lot of weight, and now he does commercials for Subway, even though to me it looks like recently he's put a little of the weight back on, and I am so waiting for the E! True Hollywood Story where a really fat Jared tells the interviewers that he couldn't take the pressure and started pigging out on Big Macs one day. Oh, they meant CJP's ex-boyfriend Jared. Never mind. Anyway, CJP doesn't answer, and Kyle says something about CJP marrying Jared. In an interview, CJP says that people often ask whether she thinks that she and Jared will date again, and she doesn't know the answer to that question. What "people" ask her that question? CJP tells Kyle that if Jared asked her to marry him right now, she would probably say yes. Kyle thinks that's "heavy." When did Kyle turn into a refugee from the '70s? Is he going to tell CJP that they need to rap about her groovy relationship?

CJP tells Kyle that she wants to move to California, audition for sitcoms, make a pilot, and "be Grace on Will and Grace, essentially." I will never understand why people with acting aspirations go on this (or any) reality show. It never works out. I mean, sure Teck and Jacinda have had the odd acting job here or there, but no former RWer has gone on to fame and fortune. This show is not a stepping stone to a career in the entertainment business. ["However, I did recently hear from a reliable source that Bunim-Murray Productions has a habit of hiring ex-Real World and Road Rules cast members to, like, work in their offices, logging tapes and stuff, like being on the shows is basically a glorified internship, at the end of which you get a job making Jon Murray's lattes or something." -- Wing Chun] In an interview, CJP says that her acting career seems a lot more important now because it's now "potentially real." CJP says that if she stayed with Jared, she would be just like Tonya right now. In an interview, Kyle says that now that CJP's out of her relationship with Jared, she is "kind of like a kid in a candy store, in the big city, but she misses her favorite flavor." Oh, spare me the lame metaphors. Kyle asks why Jared won't come to Chicago to visit, and CJP says that, to Jared, Chicago represents everything that came between them. Kyle suggests that they all go to St. Louis for a visit, and CJP nearly wets herself with excitement.