Real World
Stop Being Polite: The Real World Chicago Reunion

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Stop Being Polite: The Real World Chicago Reunion

After a montage of the "highlights" of the season, Brian McFayden welcomes us to the show. The manner in which McFayden holds his microphone annoys me, and this will be a recurring theme involving all of the roommates throughout the show. Couldn't they have just given the castmates lapel mikes? Why do they have to hold microphones? McFayden promises that the roommates will "duke it out one last time," and then introduces them individually. Seriously? They all look exactly the same. Well, Aneesa looks like she's lost some weight (which wasn't necessary, in my opinion), but the rest of them look exactly the same. From left to right, here is how they are situated: CJP sits alone, Kyle and Aneesa share a loveseat, Theo, Keri, and Chris share a couch, and Tonya sits alone.

McFayden asks everyone how they are, like, good opening question, dumb-ass. Does he really expect one of them to go, "I'm doing terrible. My dog just died"? Theo confirms that this is the first time they have been together since taping wrapped in January. McFayden asks Kyle what he's been up to. Kyle says that he's moved to L.A., where he's "kind of pursuing [his] dream" of acting. He says that he always intended to get into acting after college, but then he ended up doing the show. Like doing the show wasn't part of his idiotic grand plan to be both bad and nationwide. McFayden feeds into Kyle's delusions of grandeur by revealing that Kyle was offered a role on Passions. The audience laughs. Kyle says that he turned the role down because he wants to have a long career, and he's done a lot of theater, and Passions isn't Shakespeare. Okay, first of all, classy move to reveal roles that you've turned down. That's kind of verboten in Hollywood. Second of all, he's done "a lot of theater"? I'm so sure. Third of all, if he's so into doing theater and Shakespeare, why move to L.A.? I know there is theater in L.A., but if he were really serious about doing it, he would have gone to New York. Fourth of all, it's called paying your dues. Look into it. And fifth of all, way to dis actors who got their start on soap operas. There isn't enough space to list all of them here, but people were listing them on the forums; the list is long, and includes some Oscar winners. In conclusion, shut up, Kyle.

McFayden asks Keri for an update. Keri says that she's getting ready to move to San Francisco with the love of her life. Theo jokes that it's him, and everyone laughs. Keri says that they've been friends for a few years and recently it turned into something more. The camera cuts to Kyle for a non-reaction shot, since he's staring straight ahead, unblinking as usual. McFayden says he heard that Keri is pre-engaged, like he just heard it on the street. Keri confirms that she is, and McFayden congratulates her. I don't really get the pre-engagement thing -- like, why not just have a long engagement? Maybe her parents are conservative and don't want her living with a dude out of wedlock, but they're okay with it if she's pre-engaged. Regardless, I'm glad Keri is happy.

McFayden asks Chris what he's up to. Chris says that he's been modeling and taking acting classes in New York. Do these people really think that their post-Real World careers are going to involve fame and fortune? I just don't get that. First of all, the audience of the show is largely made up of teens and college-aged people, not casting directors and Hollywood bigwigs. Second of all, the show doesn't exactly have a great track record for promoting the careers of aspiring entertainers. The most successful Real World alumnus in terms of acting is probably Jacinda, with a couple of failed shows and small roles in movies under her belt, and she was a model before she even went on the show, so she could have gotten those even without being on the show. Chris confirms that he is also sober, and has been for sixteen months. Chris jokes that if he could stay sober through his Real World experience, he'll be sober for life. CJP pipes up that she knows she got drunk every Tuesday night, and everyone laughs, like, way to use alcohol to dull the pain.

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