Eiffel Tower Shot Cinquante-Trois. Ace lies in bed with Leah, and she asks where he was until 8:30 AM. Ace says he was at the strip club. Ace says he got all the strippers to believe that he was the heir to the fortunes of Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart. In a confessional, Ace says that he spent a thousand dollars at the strip club. What? I don't even understand how that's possible. Then again, I've never been to a female strip club. But seriously. A thousand dollars? I can't even imagine how that money was spent. And I don't want to think about all of the things Ace could have done with that money instead. Like give it to me. I can't be the only one with the fantasy that some really wealthy person, like Oprah, or Bill Gates, will just decide that I'm a really good person and give me enough money that I never have to work again, but not so much that they would miss it. Every time I hear Oprah talk about buying a necklace or something that cost, like, sixty grand, I just think, "Give that money to me!" I have issues. Anyway, so does Ace. Leah laughs that Ace spent that money on "hookers." Mallory asks if Ace just gave them the money. Ace explains that he got ten lapdances from one stripper from Kansas whose name was Andi, and that she was hot. Leah bitches, "Shut up, Ace! You didn't even get laid!" Ace responds, "Yeah, I know. I had vagina in my face, though." The women all scream. Hee! Ace scampers over and gets into bed with Mallory. Leah calls him "Billionaire strip-club goer, heir of the Wal-Mart estate." Ace asks Mallory if they can snuggle. Leah interviews that Mallory and Ace have crushes on each other. Mallory makes fun of Ace for lying to the strippers and dropping so much money.
Eiffel Tower Shot Cinquante-Quatre. Leah and Mallory walk down the street. Leah calls Ace "the perv," and Mallory adds, "The pervinator." Mallory interviews that Ace got dumped by Kate, and that he said whenever he gets dumped, he goes out and ends up having one of the best nights of his life. Maybe he should just skip the whole relationship part then, and get straight to the dumping and then the fun. Leah and Mallory make fun of Ace saying he had vaginas in his face, and I don't know what the laws are in France, but I don't think you can legally have vaginas in your face in a strip club in this country. Just boobies. ["In Canada, they strip down to total nudity, or so I have heard." -- Wing Chun] Leah can't believe that Ace was in a back room with ten strippers. Mallory explains that it was one stripper, ten times. Leah adds that Ace got home and jumped right into bed with Mallory, and so he had "stripper hands." Okay, I hate Leah, but that was kind of funny. Mallory is grossed out.