Real World
Svetlana's Birthday

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Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Have Cake, Will Eat It Too

The penultimate. One more to go. Let's do this.

Previously...Paula saw a shrink. Martin's dad died and it brought them closer. How nice of him to die for the sake of their relationship.

Credits. Zach fishes for dinner. Janelle pretends not to be a horrible person for a moment. Tyler gets much less screen time than he'd hoped for. Girl back. Title. Melanoma.

Salon. Salon. Sign. Sign. Salon. Day. Inside. Svet and Janelle discuss Martin, Svet's recently-orphaned horrible Russian Mafioso boyfriend, and his upcoming visit. Svet is nervous. She is afraid that Tyler will embarrass Martin and make him blush. Svet makes a rocking-the-cradle motion with her hands, connoting that she feels motherly towards Martin. Really? Is that why she's always yelling at him to "shut up"? Man, I hope the Russians love their children, too. Janelle camera-brats that they've been anxious to meet Martin for a while and to just see who this cat is. Janelle and Paula ask Svet what kind of cake she wants for her upcoming twentieth birthday. Svet lays out exactly what she wants in a very funny, anal way. Janelle just stares at Svet like she's a fucking idiot...and then immediately tells us how close she and Svet have become in the past couple weeks. Hee. "So fudge all over and then white frosting on top of the fudge?" Janelle asks, in the single dirtiest sentence I've ever written. Svet adds that she also wants little flowers on the edges of the cake. Janelle is about to slap the taste out of her mouth.

Day. House. Pool. Plinky piano composed by the music supervisor's five-year-old son plays as Paula floats, really not testing the strength of that raft very much. Paula camera-bones she and her shrink have decided that if she's really going to invest in the dysfunction she needs to be more open and positive about her relationship with the abusive horrible Keith. So as we see the sun go down, Paula goes into the office and composes an email to her mom in which she reveals that she and Keith are indeed still together. Paula reads us some of the email message. It's awful. She babbles on about not wanting to let anyone down. She sends the email and is nervous.

Day. Cruise liner. Seagulls. Beach. Sailboat. Dog. House. Svet tells the others that she's "tripping out" about Martin coming. They all tease him, calling him dumb, and Svet doesn't help any by telling them he doesn't know anything about politics or anything like that. Svet camera-boobs that Martin is shy while the roommates like to "pick" at people, so she's nervous for him. John correctly says that Svet is the "least tactful person" in the world, so if Martin can deal with her "antics," he certainly will be able to deal with the six of them.

Night. Russian-y music plays and the editors clearly have some time and extra establishing shots on their hands because they make a whole montage in time to the music as the phone rings and finally we go inside the house. Svet answers the phone and someone off-camera throws a shoe at her on the way. Oh, real mature, John!

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Real World

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