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Svetlana's Birthday

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Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Have Cake, Will Eat It Too

Day. Ocean. House. House. House. Steel drums. Janelle and John make a cake. John tells us that Janelle has taken initiative in doing Svet's party preparations. John exhaustedly continues to explain a stupid prank they pull where they put out a lame and poorly-decorated fake cake (while hiding the real cake). John is forced to explain how the whole point is that it'll be funny to see Svet hide her disappointment when she sees how lame her cake is. Or something. He can barely finish the thought, though; he's so bored by the whole thing.

House. Wind. Moon. People. House. House. Martin gives Svet a "pretty-ass" card. Svet camera-talks that today she's twenty and no longer a teenager. She reads the card and they kiss, Svet telling us that when she came here she really thought she and Martin might not make it. She displays once again her complete lack of awareness as she says that the opposite has happened, that they've "grown mature together."

Kitchen. Hey, there's Jose! Hey, Jose. How's it going? Totally forgot about you. They show Svet the bad cake and she pretends to like it. But here's how fucking stupid Svet is: they tell her to go fetch matches, and inside of saying, "It's my birthday, fuckers, you go outside and get the matches," she trots outside like a large-boobied puppy. After a moment of confusion, Svet sees the other cake and screams with joy and runs over to it. She hugs Janelle. Everyone claps. She blows out the candles. She cries that she loves them all so much. The cake is cut. They drink and toast. Svet camera-talks that everyone made a real effort and she'll never forget it. Huh. I'll forget it in about two minutes when I "boo-boop!" it off my TiVo forever.

Next on...the last episode! Yay! Yay! Fantasy Fest. Wait, didn't that already happen? Sigh. Something good happens at Mystic Tan and they all cheer and Zach tells us it's all been worth it. The kids leave. Hugs. Waves. Did I say, Yay! yet?

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Real World

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