Real World
Telling Stories

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Telling Stories

In an interview, Tonya says that she feels like she doesn't have as much to offer, because she's never done any sort of acting. Except for every day of her life! It's too bad the play isn't about foster care and kidney infections. Actually, that would probably be a scarier play. I think Tonya is supposed to be a ghost too, but she's just awful. She reads the lines like you would read a poem in front of the class in third grade. CJP asks her to try it again "less hokey." CJP's brilliant directions are "like a ghost." Oh, that makes sense. Tonya does it again, but this time she's a patronizing ghost, talking to Theo like he's one of the kids in the rec program. CJP tells Tonya to "cheat out" and Tonya doesn't know what that means, and I can't blame her for that. Everything else maybe, but not that. In an interview, Tonya says that acting isn't her thing, but she's doing it because it's her job. Tonya delivers her lines again, and she's still just awful. The editors really hate her, since they showed her practice three times.

Tonya eats an artichoke and offers some to Chris, who accepts. Chris announces that he needs to "make an amends" to her, which is totally a twelve-step thing. Although I thought it was one of the earlier steps. I guess I could look it up. I just thought Chris would be past that now. In an interview, Chris says he's learning to be accountable. Anyway, Chris tells Tonya that in the past, he has been caught up in the shit-talking about Tonya. Chris clarifies that he wasn't really saying things, but he also didn't tell anyone to stop. Tonya is so not interested in Chris's apology, and instead digs for details about who was saying what, which Chris won't give. In an interview, Chris says that Tonya has trust issues. In an interview, Tonya says the same thing. Chris tries to backpedal a bit and explain that this isn't about other people; it's about him. But what Tonya heard was, "The roommates are talking shit about you." Chris vows that he will stick up for her in the future. In an interview, Chris calls shit-talking "high school behavior," but it's how the roommates bonded. You can't throw seven people in a loft together and not expect them to talk about each other. I'm not saying it's right; I'm just saying it's going to happen. It happens in school. It happens in the office. It happens in families. It's inevitable. Which is, frankly, what the producers count on.

Kyle, Keri, and CJP lie in bed and joke about Tonya's multiple kidney infections, and how much sex Tonya has. The editors throw in some footage of Tonya in the bathroom, to try to make it look like she overheard them talking, which I totally don't buy. CJP says that Tonya's breasts are "huge, saline, and tan." Is that an insult? In an interview, Tonya says that she's sad that she can't trust people, and that she told CJP that she had "breast enhancements," and she knew she shouldn't have. Does she really think that if she hadn't admitted it, no one could tell? I think people on the forums were speculating about that after the first episode. Also, "enhancements"? I would have so much more respect for her if she would just be like, "Yep, I got me some fake boobies. The best boobies money can buy." Because, whatever. I think it's dumb, and buying into the beauty myth, and a waste of money. But I would have a lot more respect for someone who just flat-out admits it rather than tries to hide it. In an interview, Tonya says that CJP's shit-talking is "brutal, cruel, and unfair." Wait, wait. Here's the best part: "I think it stems from the fact that every woman that I live with is very jealous of me." Jealous! Of her! And that's why they talk about her! It's not because she's fucking loony, or a hypochondriac, or an attention-whore, or a liar. It's because they're jealous. That's fucking classic.

How ironic. I just stopped the tape and the TV was on Lifetime. Shut up, I was watching Mad About You. I said, shut up! Anyway, there was a commercial for Botox. Which you might need if you've "lost your wow."

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