Real World
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

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The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

After a not-so-subtle shot of the local Gay and Lesbian Center, Mike asks the girls what area of New York their house is located in. Lori says that they are in Greenwich Village. Mike asks what kind of place that is. Okay, I didn't go to New York City for the first time until I was twenty, and I still know what Greenwich Village is. Idiot. ["Hee! Mike's the Village Idiot!" -- Wing Chun] Coral tells him that it's "trendy" and "eccentric," and that they are "by clubs and bars." Mike is psyched to be by clubs and bars. I hope his fake Ohio license gets him turned away at the door. Coral, not at all trying to stir up controversy, tells Mike that they are a lot of gays and lesbians in the area. Unlike the rest of New York City, which is completely devoid of homosexual activity. Lori says to Mike, "You're the homophobe, right?" Mike makes a face and says sarcastically, "Sweet!" He sounds just like the ad on the site right now for Dude, Where's My Car? In an interview, Coral says that she thinks that the diversity of New York "might be freaking Mike out a little bit." Lori asks Mike where he's from again, and he tells her he's from Parma, a suburb of Cleveland. And also, I might note, the setting for The Drew Carey Show. I only know that because the show's original theme song was "Moon Over Parma." Dammit, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all night. Coral asks Mike whether it's "a little country town," and Mike explains that it's an all-white city. I'm so sure that every single resident of Parma is white. More like, "Everyone that my family and I come in contact with is white." Idiot.

As Mike and Lori play pool (of course, there is a pool table in the house!), Kevin, Malik, and Nicole arrive. Kevin pronounces the house to be "phat." Did I miss the meeting where that word became popular again? I thought that was so over. But I'm old, so I often miss these things. In an interview, Lori says that seeing Malik and Kevin "makes [her] heart skip." She adds in Nicole as an afterthought. Everyone runs around and hugs each other. In an interview, Kevin says he's happy to see Lori in the house because they had an attraction at the finals. Mike points out the jar of condoms to Kevin. He is such a tool. Kevin jokes with Mike that the house is worth the long walk it took to get there. Mike is following Kevin around like a puppy dog. Wearing a rugby shirt.

Nicole is on the phone with her friend Shantel. Nicole can't believe she gets to be on The Real World and not Road Rules. Hee! I love how she doesn't even pretend that RR isn't the B/M redheaded stepchild. Nicole tells Shantel that there are three black people in the house. In an interview, Nicole says that she's still waiting for the Winnie to pull up so she'll have to leave. I like Nicole a lot, but the dark lip liner thing has got to go. Also, the neon eye shadow. Also, the eyebrow pencil. So, basically, I like everything about Nicole so far, except the way she looks. She doesn't look as much like a drag queen anymore, so there's that.

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