Real World
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

Rachel, age eighteen, from Orland Park, Illinois gets off a bus. Rachel voice-overs that she gets kind of freaked out in big cities because it's unfamiliar. She stops at a booth in Grand Central Station (I think) and asks a lady which subway she should take to get to 32 Hudson Street. The lady tells her. Rachel voice-overs that she's "never taken public transportation before alone, and [she's] scared to death." I can't even make fun of her, because subways in general scare me. I think it's from too many repeat viewings of the Homicide episode where Vincent D'Onofrio gets hit by a subway train. Rachel asks a woman on the street (who kind of looks like Jamie Pressly) how to get to 32 Hudson Street. Have they ever given out the house address this many times before? The woman points her in the right direction.

Rachel arrives at the house, and her roommates greet her. Malik gives her a big hug, as does Mike. In an interview, Mike says that he and Rachel got to know each other really well at the finals. Mike points out the condoms to Rachel. Has the dude never seen a condom before? Why is he so excited about the condoms? Do they not have those in Parma, along with black people and gays? Kevin hugs Rachel. Coral walks up and gives Mike his five dollars. Mike gloats. All of their pages go off, and Rachel reads a message saying, "Congratulations on being the tenth cast of The Real World." They all cheer.

And now it's time for the opening credits. You know what it says. The only interesting thing about this one is that when it shows Mike's picture, you hear a voice-over that says, "Sweet!" They call it "Back to New York."

One of the girls brings up the whole bedroom issue. Coral says that she's doesn't want a co-ed bedroom. In an interview, Rachel says that Nicole and Coral want to room with girls, and that her mom would kill her if she had a male roommate. Coral asks everyone whether they have a room preference. Nicole says that she doesn't have a preference, and will sleep on the couch, if need be. Hee! They quickly decide which pair gets which rooms, leaving the third room for the boys. The girls walk off to move in their things, informing Mike that he gets the "purple bow-tie" bedroom. Mike protests that his room is "so girly." Dude. Let me break this down for you. There's only one room with three beds. The girls don't want co-ed rooms. Thus, the guys get the room with three beds. It's not that hard. The guys complain that Rachel got there last, and that she is taking over. Like it's her fault that B/M is setting her up to be the innocent one, and wanted her to have to get to the house by herself. The guys protest that one of the girls' rooms is "a guys' room," because it's blue and there's a naked woman painting. Maybe it's a lesbian's room. Not that there are any on this season. That we know of, anyway. In an interview, Nicole says she named her room the "Celibacy Room," because Rachel is a virgin, and she's not getting any. Nicole makes a joke to Malik about her room being the champagne room, because we all know that Chris Rock says there's no sex in the champagne room.

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Real World




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