Real World
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

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Kim: B | Grade It Now!
The Bronx Is Up, and the Battery's Down

Rachel, Nicole, and Mike decide to go home. The rest of them immediately start trash-talking Mike. Wouldn't you? Kevin noticed that Coral was getting a little annoyed with Mike. Coral says that Mike means well, but that he takes it too far. In an interview, Kevin tells us that Coral doesn't have a lot of patience. Malik reminds everyone that Mike has never known a black person. Coral says that Mike "doesn't mean to not like black people." They all agree that Mike has been sheltered, and they can't blame him. In an interview, Kevin says that this whole experience will change Mike.

The four remaining at the bar do a shot and then dance. Malik and Coral dance together, and Kevin and Lori dance together. In an interview, Lori says that Kevin is "a really flirtatious dancer." In the bar, we see Kevin and Lori dancing close, and then he picks her up in the air, like this suddenly turned into the end of Dirty Dancing or something. Lori voice-overs that she wishes they could "reap some of the benefits" of their attraction before it's too late. They kiss each other on the cheek and hug and cuddle some more.

Mary-Ellis Bunim: Where is the sex? Where! Is! The! Sex?!
Jonathan Murray: We have to let it build. We can't just start out the season with sex. Why would anyone tune in the next week?
Bunim: To see if they do it again! Don't question me. Just make it happen.
Murray: I hate my life.

Back at the Biggest Apartment in New York City, Nicole has gone to bed. Boy, she's going to be a barrel of laughs this season. Mike and Rachel play pool. Rachel teases Mike, saying that his pickup line is, "Uh, do you have a boyfriend?" Mike says that people say he's the horny one who has to have sex with girls. Who says that? No one says that. Mike claims that he doesn't have to have sex with girls. I love how he adds "with girls" every time he says "sex." In an interview, Mike says he's a big flirt, and that he will flirt with any girl. Again with the girl thing. Mike asks Rachel who broke her heart. Rachel says that she and Justin were together for thirteen months before he dumped her for The Bitch. Aw, don't do that. Don't blame the other woman. Just admit that your ex-boyfriend is an asshole, and that you should have seen it sooner. And then be glad that he's out of your life. Mike asks if he dumped her because she wouldn't have sex. Wow, he's sensitive. Rachel says that Justin wanted to wait for marriage. Do you think that Justin is Justin Timberlake and he dumped her for Britney, making Britney The Bitch? I've got to stop watching TRL. In an interview, Rachel says that she hoped Mike would be in the house with her. Rachel flubs a pool shot, and Mike makes fun of her. Rachel explains that she's "not good when [she] has to lay on the table." Mike, of course, makes it into a sex joke, like didn't the rest of us outgrow that in about the eighth grade? Idiot. In an interview, Rachel says that her virginity is a topic of conversation in the house, and that people are making fun of her, not realizing that she is four years younger than some of them. Yeah, is it really so shocking that someone is a virgin at eighteen? It might be somewhat unusual, but is it really shocking? Mike teases her for being a virgin, because he's a tool. They start looking at a deck of cards that have pickup lines written on them. Mike reads one and asks Rachel to take a shower with him. Good one. Rachel says to Mike, "Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes." If any guy ever said that to me, I think I would laugh in his face. Do people really use pickup lines? I'm asking. Mike says that Rachel's line gave him butterflies. Ugh. I hate him.

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