One night they go to a "singles dinner." Okay, um, since when does anyone under thirty go to something advertised as a "singles dinner"? I mean, isn't it understood that any non-gay dance club you go to is going to be an opportunity to meet members of the opposite sex? I mean, it's not like Mike is having problems meeting unmarried women or anything. Or is that what every woman says when she meets Mike -- if she's not claiming to be a lesbian instead? So anyway, the premise of this dinner is that there are phones on the tables (à la Cabaret), and if you see someone you're interested in, you can call him or her. Actually, that sounds sort of cool. I'm surprised there's nothing like that here in NYC. Unsurprisingly, Lars is getting a lot of calls and Mike isn't. Eventually some girl does call Mike. Oddly enough, she's not retarded and has all her limbs and everything. Turns out that her brother races cars, so they talk about that. It also turns out that she has a boyfriend. How convenient! This girl is my hero. She hits on Mike to get her face on television, but she doesn't have to touch him or anything. Rock on! Mike tries to save face by claiming that it would have worked out if the girl's friends weren't around. Yeah, I've heard it is, in fact, easier to date rape someone if she's alone. "Ah, Lars," says Mike, trying desperately to save face. "We know how to have a good time." Lars doesn't say anything but is probably thinking, "What do you mean 'we'?"
B-roll of a DC-10 landing on a runway. No, Jacinda has not whipped through her flight lessons already and become a commercial pilot -- it's her boyfriend Paul, arriving from Paris. She meets him at the airport and whines to his face that she's used to being alone these days and doesn't know how she feels about having him around. Oh dear. She brings him back to the house and introduces him to everyone. "This is Neil," says Jacinda, introducing Paul. "He can't talk." Hee!
The housemates remark upon how different Paul is from Jacinda. "He's got a sweet streak," says Kat in an interview. "Sweet"? Okay, there's "sweet," and then there's "doormat." Mike complains that Paul doesn't talk. Maybe he doesn't talk to you, Mike, but that's not really a character flaw in my book. Jacinda points out that Paul is younger than she is, and comments on how weird that is. Yes, Jacinda -- it probably is strange not dating that fifty-year-old Japanese businessman who paid for your nose job anymore. Mike scornfully observes that Jacinda seems "in control of that relationship" -- a concept unfamiliar to Mike, who keeps his women in line with a Rohypnol and self-pity. Paul and Jacinda walk around London hand-in-hand. She bosses him around while "Strong Enough" by Sheryl Crow plays. 'Cause you know Sheryl Crow is such a paragon of female strength, sharing Kid Rock with Pamela Anderson and all. "You're so bad," says Paul. "That's why I like you." Aw! They check into a hotel together, for some reason. I mean, if they need to get out of the house to get some privacy, why are there cameras in their hotel room, too? They get into bed with their clothes on. Yes, that's right -- a bona fide boyfriend comes to visit, and still no one in the house gets laid.