Then they show Mike hanging out with Lars. "I've been majorly hanging out with Mike," says Lars in an interview. "Which surprises me," he adds. What surprises me is that even Lars can lay his hands on enough drugs to dull the pain of having to spend more than a half an hour with Mike. "I like going to the clubs with Lars," says Mike. "Because we think very alike [sic] when we go out." We then see Lars and Mike discussing hot chicks while waiting for the Metro to take them to one of these clubs. Yes, that is sweet; I understand it's very hard for heterosexual men to find other heterosexual men with whom to discuss hot chicks. I hear that guys are pretty shy about that sort of thing, and I'm glad that Bunim-Murray is presenting us with such a great example of progressive social interaction. In an interview, Lars says that Mike goes out to pick up girls: "That's his thing." On the Metro, Mike tells Lars that he wants to go home with someone and never talk to her again. Yeah, Mike. Because when you never talk to a girl again, that's your decision. Whatever. Lars laughs at this crazy talk about girls and openly dreads having to introduce Mike to his mother. In an interview, Mike confesses to being a "wuss" when it comes to talking to girls. Um, Mike, that's not being a wuss. That's being realistic about your non-existent sexual prospects. He likes to club with Lars, he explains, because Lars has the confidence to approach girls and then introduce them to Mike. Can you imagine what a letdown it must be for a girl to get approached by Lars and then introduced to Mike? Talk about a bait and switch!
One night they go to a "singles dinner." Okay, um, since when does anyone under thirty go to something advertised as a "singles dinner"? I mean, isn't it understood that any non-gay dance club you go to is going to be an opportunity to meet members of the opposite sex? I mean, it's not like Mike is having problems meeting unmarried women or anything. Or is that what every woman says when she meets Mike -- if she's not claiming to be a lesbian instead? So anyway, the premise of this dinner is that there are phones on the tables (à la Cabaret), and if you see someone you're interested in, you can call him or her. Actually, that sounds sort of cool. I'm surprised there's nothing like that here in NYC. Unsurprisingly, Lars is getting a lot of calls and Mike isn't. Eventually some girl does call Mike. Oddly enough, she's not retarded and has all her limbs and everything. Turns out that her brother races cars, so they talk about that. It also turns out that she has a boyfriend. How convenient! This girl is my hero. She hits on Mike to get her face on television, but she doesn't have to touch him or anything. Rock on! Mike tries to save face by claiming that it would have worked out if the girl's friends weren't around. Yeah, I've heard it is, in fact, easier to date rape someone if she's alone. "Ah, Lars," says Mike, trying desperately to save face. "We know how to have a good time." Lars doesn't say anything but is probably thinking, "What do you mean 'we'?"