This, the final episode of the Los Angeles season of The Real World, opens with Beth and Glenn reading TV Guide's write-up of the show's season premiere. Glenn chortles when he reads the magazine's description of Jon: "A prudish country singer." Actually, that turn of phrase cracks up pretty much everyone, even the unidentified strangers lolling around the beach house. "Am I prudish?" Jon asks the group, before whipping off the towel wrapped around his waist to show the world his...swimming trunks. More laughing. Apparently, the review also mentions Beth and "a topless jaunt in a rooftop Jacuzzi." Tami reads this and wrinkles her brow. "We have a Jacuzzi up there?" she asks. Aaron chuckles and assures her that they do not. Furthermore, and even more amusingly, according to TV Guide, Beth is a lesbian. Not the Beth that actually is a lesbian; TV Guide means the other Beth. Great fact-checking, TV Guide. This, of course, fills Beth with despair, and she calls everyone she knows to inform them that she is not and never has been a lesbian. Actually, it turns out that people have been coming out of the woodwork, calling her friends and family to ask whether the lesbian rumor is, in fact, true. "Nothing wrong with being a lesssssbian, Beth," Banthony drawls from the balcony as Jon laughs. Beth smiles ruefully and rolls her eyes. Later, she's on the phone upstairs. "That's not true," she insists. "I've never been topless, and I've never been a lesbian!" Now, admittedly, I don't know from lesbianism, but it seems like Beth is missing out all over the place!
Banthony tells the camera that, as soon as people started talking about "press" for the show, she got a big huge pimple, because she's "panicking." She doesn't think she'll read anything anyone writes about the show because she "doesn't believe in media." So, you're on The Real World, why? That's like saying you don't believe in God, and then becoming a nun. Banthony admits that she's looking forward to reading the gay publications but, "as a general rule, [she's] a little leery of the whole thing." Basically, Banthony says, she's afraid people are going to judge her, and she doesn't want to know about it if they do.
Glenn is all up in arms at the idea that the press is passing judgment on him. But Glenn, it's fun for us to pass judgment! You ought to try it! "Hopefully, they will be fair enough to change their opinions as the show progresses," says Glenn, "because nobody is stereotypical and there shouldn't be stereotypes in the world." Wow, that's so profound. I'm sure, somewhere, Martin Luther King Jr. is all broken up that he didn't think to put it like that.