Real World
The End Of The Skankocence

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True Colors

I've never actually recapped junior high school. Let's see how it goes.

Austin. River. Freeway. Mt. Bonnell. Mel takes Danny up the famed lookout, telling him the legend that if you walk up there once, you'll fall in love. If you walk up twice, you'll be engaged. And if you walk up three times...you'll get brain damage from an ass-whooping outside of a shitty bar and then you'll get roped into a relationship with an insecure slutty blonde in need of a more supportive bra. What a sweet legend, right? In more important news: Danny has a new hat! It's like a one-dollar hat you buy at a county fair, plastic and blank (like Mel!), but at least it's not made of felt. (Mel likes to be felt.) Mel camera-skanks that she's taking Danny there because it's where they met on the first day, and she thinks it'll be romantical and bring up nice memories. Not for someone who no longer has memories. Or half of his medulla oblongata. She takes Danny's photo and laughs, for some reason. Because she stole his soul. We get a flashback of Danny walking up to Mel on that first day. Danny then tells us that, when he first met her, he was blown away and his knees buckled. Not the last time he'd be blown, or that she'd make his knees buckle, on this trip. Danny camera-skulls that, four months later, he still feels the same way. He and Mel eat food and shmoop, as he tells us that Mel is going to come to Boston for Danny's birthday in a few days and then they're going to get an apartment together. Ohmygodyouguys! Squeeeeeeeeeee! Danny whispers that he loves her. Mel says she loves him too. Won't last. (Wow. That's very cynical. Sorry. They'll last forever!)

Austin. Trees. Mansions. Warehouse. The kids are packing. Johanna whines to Rachel that she doesn't want to move out. Neh tell us he's not sad, and likes moving on to the next chapter in his life. As opposed to the next chapter in books. Which I've never seen him read. That goes for everyone, in fact, except Mel. Who is not whom you'd expect to be reading. The kids are going out to dinner that night as a "family." Wes starts reminiscing with Rachel and Johanna about the first night: Johanna made out with Danny, and Wes almost got into a fight defending his "hermana" -- which they decide is important to tell us means "sister." ["I have no idea what they're talking about, since it's not in the season premiere recap." -- Wing Chun] Johanna says that, tonight, they can make it all better. Rachel makes a joke, but I don't get it. Way over my head. Operating on a whole other complex comedy level. Judy Tenuta level.

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Real World

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