Matt, with his some kind of serious New England accent, sits in front of the computer in the firehouse with Montana on his lap. Elka voice-overs, "I think that Matt has really swept Montana off her feet," and Sean, whose best attribute as a human being is his palpable dislike for Vaj, adds, "I think Montana sees lots in Matt right now that she doesn't find in Vaj. And a lot of other great qualities that Matt has that Vaj doesn't have. And that's what's attracted Montana to Matt." And to you too, Sean, maybe just a little? He does sound smitten. We learn for the not-at-all first time that Montana and Matt have "a little something going," and Montana reiterates that "if Vaj was [sic] uncomfortable with that, then he would break up with me." Cut to Vaj calling the firehouse: "Hey, baby!" Ew. He sounds disturbingly Jerry Lewis-like in his greeting, a doubtless shout-out to the Real World's French-speaking population, who already adore Montana's displaced boyfriend on account of his name sounding like the French word for something very, very naughty. Jason, reigning lord and master of Functional Relationships Manor, feels free to judge Montana thusly: "I think she's spreading herself pretty thin. It's tempting to go out with other people while you're here, but if you love somebody you love them." Nice John-and-Yoko-on-Dick-Cavett '60s love-in ideology, Jason. Montana, meanwhile, tries to bait Vaj into giving her his coveted "Get Out of Relationship Guilt Free Card," putting words in his mouth: "I'm glad you're having a good time in New York." He tells her that he isn't really having any kind of alleged "good time," bemoaning, "There's a big empty spot." You mean, um, where your chin used to be? Bah ha ha ha ha! Ahem. Sorry. I just know how much y'all love it when I make fun of pocky Vaj in all of his mountain-faced pockiness. Consider it done. No need to thank me. Really. Reserve your praising emails for a more noble cause. Both of you. I know in my heart that I've done the right thing. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, that's right. Map-of-the-Himalayas Vaj. That's topological. Er, I mean, "topical." As in "on-topic." And also as in "ointment for garish scars and the like."
Over in Montana and Elka's room, Montana lies in bed and gushes to Elka, "I prayed tonight." Oh, God. Elka asked her what she prayed about, and Montana admits, "I prayed that I would lose interest in Matt." If she really wants to gain some knowledge about how to lose interest in this relationship quickly, she should probably just ask Matt. Fake TV Boyfriend seems to be an expert on matters of non-love such as this one. Elka shoots down anyone's attempt to pray as nobly as she can, telling her that she thinks Montana's prayer is "a Santa Claus prayer." Eh? "When you want something and you haven't done a darn thing, dang it, to get it." Oh, burn. I mean, I don't trust the slightest bit in Montana's claim to have seen the light and converted or anything, but I'm sure Montana would have worded her claim for salvation a little more carefully had she known that someone in the house was actually personally acquainted with God. Which Elka, from her previous comment about His intents and motives, is. Montana claims that she has been "trying to do it." Cut to a close-up on Montana's Virgin Mary nightlight, which is a helpful reminder that this scene is imbued with religious symbolism. Which I guess I didn't know before that.