Next morning, Jason and the collective viewing audience of Season Six look out the window of the firehouse and mutter a simultaneous, "What the hell?" Jason runs down the steps and outside to discover someone -- er, who could it be? -- has dropped by under the cover of darkness with a gigantic box of colored chalk (seriously, there are "umber" shades in there) and wrote "Timber Loves Jason" on the ground in letters about six total feel around. Around the words are hearts and stars and other assorted colorful symbols that would do the "Lucky Charms" leprechaun proud, and the overall effect looks like the product less of a deranged adult mind and more of a nine-year-old girl writing "Timber Loves Corey Haim" on her home driveway after her parents took her to see License to Drive. Kameelah chimes in as Kameelah has been known to do, understating, "If I had a boyfriend and he did something like that, I would think, 'Wow. That's really sweet. You're psycho.'" Dear Kameelah: WORD! Love, the normal. And the medicated. The, um, properly medicated.
In yet another room of the firehouse, Montana bitches further at Elka that she can't handle "having two boyfriends in two different cities." Aw, poor cuckolding philanderette can't make up her mind. She tells Elka that she wants to hang out with Matt, but that she knows that, in her heart of hearts, "I'm going back to live with my boyfriend." Elka tells Montana that she doesn't even owe Matt-the-TV-Whore an explanation, but sure enough, we cut to inside of his apartment, in which Montana is explaining, "When I told my boyfriend we were going to see other people, I had envisioned myself hooking up at a bar. I didn't envision myself seeing somebody regularly, going out with them [sic] on Valentine's Day. That kind of thing." Matt got more out of the deal than he'd initially bargained for as well, and his Dirty White Cap is pulled down on his brow almost enough to conceal the self-loving frat boy grin that seems permanently affixed to his face. What does he have not to smile about, after all? The dude got more screen time than Syrus and Elka combined. Montana voice-overs that she can't live this double life anymore, and we cut back to the apartment to see Matt hope that they can be friends. The Squiggly Hip of Font of Character Introduction at no point feels necessary to tell us that he is "Matt." Because we already knew that. And if that isn't a testament to show infiltration, man, I don't know what is. Who's the whore now?