Real World
The High Life

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The High Life

Cameran puts product in her hair and says that she feels "like a slut-whore." Maybe if she wasn't wearing a skirt that is cut up to her crotch in the front, she would feel better. It's long in the back and then you can seriously see her underwear in the front every time she takes a step. Ominous music plays as the limo glides along the highway. The limo is like Jaws or something. Cameran says that her skirt is ridiculous. Yes! It is! Change! Cameran decides to wear flesh-toned underwear so that you can't tell when it's showing. Or she could just change her skirt.

It's 11:30 PM, and the girls are still at the house. Cameran calls Adam, Frankie's loverboy. How did he get involved with this? He's apparently friends with Ryan as well. Wuh? How did that happen? I need more explanation. Cameran asks Adam if he's on his way, and Adam says that he is. Frankie explains that Adam is picking them up in the limo because "Ryan's already involved in the whole party scene," which to me means that Ryan is drunk or high or both. Adam has stubble on his face, but not his neck, which means that he shaved his neck. That's a little too contrived for my tastes, Mr. Earlobes. The ominous limo finally pulls up to the house. The girls walk downstairs. Frankie has changed out of her dumpy clothes into a dress, and teases Cameran that her coochie is showing. Cameran has to ask if it really is, which would be yet another sign to me that I should change. Adam gets to the door and calls the girls out. Cameran interviews that she has no idea how Adam and Ryan know each other. One of the girls asks Adam if he's alone in the limo, and he says that he is. Adam could not look less interested in hanging out with the girls right now. Jamie interviews that Cameran is "a very curious person," and that while Cameran thinks that the Ryan situation is shady, she still wants to try it. Why is Jamie talking like she wasn't involved in the whole thing?

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. I actually have a few smaller moments that were awesome, so I've been saving them up for a while. The first is when Nick Lachey appeared as Tom Jones on American Dreams. I mean, Tom Jones is pretty cheesy anyway, but Nick Lachey was horrible! And the tight pants! And the bad Brillo wig! And then they gave him lines to speak and his Welsh accent sounded sort of like David Boreanaz trying to do an Irish accent, but worse. It was so awesome. The second awesome moment was when Jon Stewart said, "Those fuckers!" on The Daily Show and they didn't bleep it out. Mostly just because no one even noticed or commented on it in the media, and the world as we know it didn't end because someone dropped the F-bomb on basic cable. And the third was the ending of Average Joe: Hawaii where Larissa chose boring, bland Gil over interesting and reminiscent-of-David-from-Real World Seattle Brian. But that's not the awesome part. The awesome part came when Larissa confessed that she had a deep, dark secret. And it turned out that the secret was...that she dated Fabio. What? How random. But that's not even the awesome part. The awesome part came when Gil freaked out about it and was like, running around and kicking sand. Was he upset because Fabio is so manly and he could never measure up? Was he upset because Fabio is a cheeseball and he couldn't date someone who could go out with him? And did he have a leg to stand on, as someone who appeared on Average Joe: Hawaii? Who knows? But it was completely unexpected, and bizarre, and it was awesome.

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