Real World
The Home Of The Brave

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The Home Of The Brave

David answers the phone, and they want you to think that this happens while the others are at the gym, but it's clearly a different night, unless David changed all of his clothes in the meantime. Siena is on the other end, and she tells David that he's going to sing the national anthem. David says, "Yeah!" three times, because once is never enough with him. In an interview, David says that Siena told him to get ready to sing on the 27th, and it boggles his mind. I get the feeling it doesn't take much to boggle his mind.

David and Matt walk down the street as sad music plays in the background. Here comes the "tragic fucking clown" portion of the evening. See, we were all hating David, so now they have to make us feel sorry for him. Let's see if it works. In an interview, Matt is wearing his ugliest shirt yet, and he says that David is an only child, so he didn't develop the communication skills you usually get with brothers and sisters. I don't know about you, but my communication skills with my brother consisted of him telling me to shut up, then me telling him to make me, then him making me, and then me telling our mother. Repeat ad nauseam for the first sixteen years of my life. Matt asks David when his parents got divorced, and David says it happened ten years ago, when he was twelve. In an interview, David says he grew up with his mom and his relationship with his dad isn't too good. David tells Matt that his father is trying to make up for ten years of not being there, and he can try, but David won't help him. David and Matt get on a streetcar. David says, "You know that saying, 'Forgive and forget'? I don't do that." I expect Matt to launch into a whole Jesus speech about turning the other cheek, but no such luck. In an interview, David says that his father wasn't there, and that David gets his strength and determination from what his father didn't do. Aw, save it for your therapist. Isn't the "blaming your parents" trend over yet? Matt asks David how his mother dealt with his father leaving. David says that his mom showed him a strong face, but he heard her crying plenty of times. Okay, that's a little bit sad. In an interview, Matt says he realized that David's mom is the single most important person in his life.

David arrives at the house, probably on a completely different night, and calls his mom. His mother was sleeping, but David doesn't care, and asks his mom to come down and see him sing the national anthem. She's all confused, because she's asleep, so he repeats the question. In an interview, David says that to have his mom there to "hear her baby sing the national anthem would be an amazing thing" because "she knows he tries real hard to make her proud." Yeah, he tries "real hard" by sleeping with lots of women, scatting, and wearing that tired-ass tank top and doo-rag. I know the producers are trying to get me to soften up about David, but I'm not buying it.

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Real World




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