Real World
The Italian Job

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The Italian Job

The roommates are on their way to Florence. Leah interviews that Florence is charming and romantic. The female roommates get off the train, and Leah says that they should "sleep with everyone," but quickly adds that she is just kidding. Except she's totally not. Leah is looking forward to the Italian guys. Who, if the next few scenes are to be taken as metaphor, all look like Michelangelo's David. Seriously, they showed three shots of statues or fountains of naked men. Naked men are the new Eiffel Tower.

Leah tells Simon that they are going to the Prada outlets. Simon is thrilled. Simon interviews that he and Leah are the biggest shoppers in the house. Simon concludes, "We're just shoppers." They're the shoppingest shoppers in shoppingtown! ["Wooooooo! Shoppingtown! Kim wrote that just for me." -- Wing Chun] So then we get some shots of shopaholics Simon and Leah shopping. Meanwhile, the "shop-ophobes" are eating lunch. The shop-ophobes are Chris, Ace, and Adam. I don't know where Mallory and Christina fall on the shopping scale. Adam says that he would hang out with Simon more if Simon didn't "shop so damn much," because it always comes back to shopping or name-brand clothes with him. Leah and Simon continue shopping. Ace interviews that Simon and Leah are shopping, which he doesn't enjoy, but they do. Really? Thank you for telling me that. Chris says that Simon and Leah are "joined at the hip," and Adam says that they like the same things. Like what? Seeing the sights? Eating giant sandwiches in restaurants? Oooooh, they mean shopping. Well, they could have said that.

Leah and Simon go to lunch to fortify themselves for more shopping. Leah says that, earlier in her life, when she met a guy, she would want to know what kind of car he drove. If he didn't drive a "BMW, a Benz, a Porsche, or a Jaguar," she wouldn't talk to him. Simon asks what happened if it was a really good guy who drove a bike. Hee! A bike. Leah says she wouldn't know he was a good guy, because she wouldn't talk to him in the first place. That explains a lot about her calling Chris "uneducated" earlier this season. She's just a big, fat, materialistic snob. Leah says that when she met her boyfriend, he changed all of that. So how did she get together with him if he didn't drive a fancy car? Leah interviews that she dated her ex for three and a half years, and that when they were together, she was happy and confident. Now she worries that she won't feel that way again. So she completely depends on men for her self-esteem? That explains a lot as well. Leah explains to Simon about her feelings. Simon says it's like wearing really ugly clothes all the time. Leah agrees that it's as if she's wearing "square-toed shoes." So she gets her self-esteem from men and shoes. Wow, what a healthy lifestyle.

Mallory and Christina wander the streets of Florence and get hit on by Italian guys. Or maybe just complimented if not fully hit on. Christina sees a horse and buggy and squeals that she wants to pet the horse. Some guy tells her that she's beautiful. Later, Mallory and Christina discuss how different men are in Italy, and that they will compliment you even if their girlfriends are right there. Mallory thinks they are just straightforward. In a confessional, Mallory says that Italians really seem to love their lives. Christina says that Leah will get a lot of attention because she has blonde hair and looks very American. I'm sure Leah will hate all of that attention. She'll have to put on a hat or something.

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Real World

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