Real World
The One Where Everyone Sings

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Jessica: B- | 1 USERS: F
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The One Where Everyone Sings

In an interview, Glenn tells us that the lead singer of Stick Kitty really "feels the music" and is "authentic about his performance." Because if Glenn is anything, he's an experienced and knowledgeable music critic.

Backstage, Tami's still nervous. Finally, Dom introduces "Reeeeeeeeeee-allll-ittttty!" The girls hustle out onto the makeshift stage and do their thing. They're not completely terrible -- sort of a poor man's En Vogue, complete with extremely complex but inadequately executed dance moves. Tami tells us that she was happy not to embarrass herself, and then undoes all that hard work: "When I say 'Reality,' you say 'check'! Reality!" she shouts. "Check!" the audience mutters. This "Reality!" "Check!" call and response thing continues for several minutes, humiliating us all. Ree-Alit-Tee then moves into a more fast-paced number, whipping off their skirts to reveal tight black hot pants. The crowd, always responsive to short shorts, stands up and starts clapping. Tami eventually jumps off the stage and starts working the crowd.

Jon admits that the skirt-ripping action sort of threw him off-guard. "Is this a G-rated showcase, or what's going on?" he wonders.

After her performance, Tami greets well-wishers backstage. She's wearing a robe and accepting flowers, like Julie Andrews on the opening night of My Fair Lady.

And finally, it's time for Perch. And you know what that means? Fast-forwarding. But I don't hit the button until after Glenn snidely comments that he didn't know he was "allowed to lip-synch." Trust me, Glenn: all over America, people fervently wish you would lip-synch. To something other than Perch. I gather that Tami and Ree-Allll-E-T weren't singing live. Tami insists that they weren't doing some kind of Milli Vanilli type thing: they were lip-syncing to their own recording. "We can sing," she insists. Glenn snips that if Tami's "going to throw stones, she better get ready to accept some back." Then he admits that he's not the greatest vocalist in the world, but at least he "has charisma." That is a lie. Perch performs, and I scramble for the remote.

Dom says Glenn "had a blast" performing "He's very Jim Morrison-esque, wouldn't you agree?" he asks. I hope that was sarcasm.

Blee blee blah, everyone had a great time performing together, they say. Dom feels "accomplished," Jon "had a great time," Glenn "had fun," and Tami? She's just glad she managed not to strangle Glenn. I don't know if that's really cause for celebration.

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Real World

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