Real World
The One You've Been Waiting For

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Jessica: D | 1 USERS: A+
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The One You've Been Waiting For

Tami flings the bathroom door open dramatically, clad in an open robe, boxers and her bra. Apparently, it's her back, and three inches of thigh and butt, that she wanted to keep covered.

In an interview, Beth says that when Tami got out the bathroom, "things were really, really bad." She shakes her hair and looks demurely at her hands and sighs.

Tami stomps into her bedroom and starts yelling at Irene that "they dragged me across the floor, in front of the fucking camera crew and the thirty-eight people in the projection room," and she's going to "kick his ass!" At this threat, Beth screams "yay," and jumps up and down. "Let's get 'im," she says.

By the way, this outburst from Tami sounds, to my ear, like mock yelling. You know, yelling for dramatic and humorous effect. I do it all the time. Beth is still laughing hysterically. Irene wonders where she put her ammo.

Tami stomps into the boys' rooms, followed by her little puppy dog, Beth (Tami is like Lila Fowler to Beth's Jessica Wakefield) and throws an entire bottle of mouthwash on David's unmade bed. Oh, burn. Not. She tosses some rubber boots into the toilet. Wow, that's destructive! Those rain boots will never withstand the water in the toilet bowl! Beth stomps around after Tami, cheering her reign of non-destruction. She makes sure the rain boots are well inserted into the toilet bowl. She has, at some point, lost her stupid baseball cap.

Tami finds David hiding in his closet. That's mature. She says, "Don't do that to me," and kicks and punches him. Really hard, it looks like.

In an interview, Irene says that first it sounded like they were messing around, then it sounded serious, and then it sounded like they were messing around. She muses that she didn't know if she ought to "step in" or not. Because, you know, she's The Law. Twenty-four hours a day.

Because this is a war fought with toiletries, David goes into the bathroom and arms himself with what looks like a tube of Caress Bodywash (the classic scent). Tami is standing in the hallway holding a can of aerosol hairspray. David runs at her in an attempt to get into her room, ostensibly to avenge the death of his bedsheets, but she tries to block the door. He kinds of knocks her against the wall, but she grabs his arm as he heads for the girls' room. In the background, Beth squeals, "Stop it!" and "You're not going to come in here!" and "No!" She pushes David back into the hallway (I think; Jon's big ass makes a better door than a window, and he was blocking the camera). David tells Tami -- rather menacingly, actually -- that she had "better not put shit in [his] bed." I guess he doesn't realize that the Scope will make his bedsheets minty fresh! Tami grabs his arm again and this time flings him against the wall and back towards his own room. Fight! Fight! Fight! Beth keeps caterwauling, and David and Tami exchange words. I'd tell you what they were, but I can't hear them over Beth the Banshee, and 75% of their sentences are completely bleeped out. Also, for some reason, my closed captioning is not working. As David stumbles back to his own room, Tami yells what sounds like "We're going to head up this, motherfucker!" Does that make sense? Maybe that's 1993 slang and I was too busy graduating from high school to be in the loop. Beth stands right behind Tami -- she's put her cap back on -- and nods her head. In the background, Irene hollers that David is not allowed in their room. Dom kind of wanders into the hallway, and wanders back out again, looking as though he's just woken up. Tami shakes the hair spray menacingly.

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Real World

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