The Real World Tenth Anniversary Special
The show opens on a red carpet, somewhere in Los Angeles, with tons (okay, dozens) of screaming fans perched alongside it. The camera pans to Cynthia and Dan from the Miami season, who welcome us. Hey, what happened to the Hip, Squiggly Font of Character Introduction? They've changed it! Oh, this just won't do. I hate this special already. Dan tells us that they are at a club called Blue, and a close-up shot of the Pepsi sign on the wall explains why they are able to air this ninety-minute special with no commercials. Did you hear me? Ninety minutes of former Real World cast members with no commercials! I am in recapping hell. I think I should get combat pay.
So then we get quick shots of people walking down the red carpet. I was just going to gloss over this, but since this is the only time you actually see some of the attendees on camera, I decided to slo-mo it and try to tell you who is there. First is Mike from Miami and some blond woman who is definitely not Old Heather. In fact, Mike is looking more and more like Old Heather every time I see him. Next up is Sharon from London, arriving with Mike from London and some other random guy. In other words, Mike couldn't get a date, so he glommed on to Sharon and her date. David from L.A. waves to the crowd. Judd and Pam from San Francisco walk in together. Amaya from Hawaii walks in by herself, wearing a red top and with weird flyaway hair.
As Cynthia voice-overs that not only were all the cast members invited, celebrities will also be there, David from L.A. yuks it up with Pauly Shore. Hee! That's the best celebrity they could come up with? Awesome. Dan talks to Andy Dick, who is clearly only there because MTV blackmailed him. Then there is a quick shot of some young, female groupies, and I am sad for them. Kat from London walks in, looking really cute, and greets the crowd. Jon from L.A. stops and talks to the camera, and they have to use the Hip But Not Squiggly Font to introduce him, because he's packed on some pounds. I mean, he was practically a teenager when he was on the show, so it makes sense that he's filled out a little. But apparently, it all went to his face. Jon tells the camera that he wants to bring in all the people waiting outside. Dan talks to Rachel from San Francisco and Sean from Boston, the official Real World married couple. Lindsay from Seattle talks to the camera as her date waits next to her. Elka from Boston laughs. Amaya from Hawaii and Nathan from Seattle greet each other with a kiss. Becky from New York (who looks a lot like Sarah from Road Rules: Latin America) hangs out with Eric from New York and Jo from San Francisco. Andre from New York is actually there. That's kind of exciting. Syrus from Boston yells about something. Sarah from Miami smiles at the camera and ducks her head, and then hides her face with her hands. More people cheer outside. Cynthia suggests that we head outside to the red carpet and see who is arriving. Cynthia still has those scary dragon-lady nails, but she is also just as cute as ever. I love her.